If You Wanted to be my Father

Sometimes

Sometimes Harry wonders whether Snape regretted his decision, whether the Weasleys truly didn't have space, and whether this was better than the Dursleys. Luckily after the heart braking realization, the Weasleys couldn't take Harry in, Hermione's family was certainly up to the challenge. It was different, and the Grangers were kind, but it didn't compare to Mrs. Weaslyes mother-like nature that harry craved the acceptance of. Don't get him wrong they were much better than his previous options, but he still wanted something more, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. 

Sometimes Pity isn't love It's just not quite the same thing, pity made your heart sink with the realization it isn't real, while love made you know in the bottom of your heart you are safe. Pity is temporary, love isn't. 

Harry sat in the guest room of Hermione's house, looking out the window at the dreary northern London weather. Rain washed down the window, and Snape was far from his mind, at least that is what he keeps telling himself. He didn't need that selfish bastard anyway, he had his friends. 

Pity is temporary

If he had to write a paper on what he had learned through all this it would have to start with the fact that family did not mean automatic acceptance. Family is messy and complicated and regrettably in Harry's case unloving and frankly unforgiving, of what is unknown, but nonetheless unforgiving. 

It was almost the end of summer, and Harry's certain he couldn't face Snape again without the clenching painful feeling returning. The one that eats at his soul and makes him question his existence. The one that reminds him he's too difficult even for his father. 

So when school's start comes around again, Harry doesn't return to Hogwarts, instead of transferring to Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, upon request from a letter he sent earlier in the summer. There he could stay with a transfer family. It may be forced but it was more of an obligation than pity. 

He didn't need a family anyway. 

So when Harry graduates and he has more friends, he has the Weasley's and the Grangers, he has his transfer family, so when he graduates and sees Snape once more the feeling doesn't eat away at him. 

"Well you seem to be doing better," Snape's drawn-out tone making Harry's jaw clench 

"Well yes, I suppose I can hand it to the Granger's, for taking me in, and then to this school for allowing me to transfer, although it was almost expected seeing that my situation was unusually cruel." Harry looks him dead in the eyes, not a doubt in his heart, he doesn't need a father who was never his father, especially if his father never needed him. 

"I don't suppose we could ever make up," a glimpse of hope, regret, and pity all gleamed in Snape's eyes for a split second, Harry saw it although he's sure no one else would have, had there be anyone around to see it. 

"No, I don't think we ever could Snape," the air was quiet with fury from Harty and disappointment from Snape. 

Not another word was uttered and after a couple of minutes of the gut-wrenching silence, Snape walked out, as disappointed as he was the day Harry showed up on his doorstep. 

No, He doesn't suppose forgiveness was in the cards, but Harry was finally happy and nothing was going to dare taint it.

Sometimes you don't need a family, sometimes friends are enough, and sometimes pitty isn't pitty. Sometimes Harry contemplates if Snape had wanted to be Harry's father if it all would have been different. But there were no times for hypotheticals, as Harry began to settle down in a new job with a new wife, and another family nothing like his one before.