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any news?
Vicky's stabilising. Doctors said she might wake up soon. Nothing new for Mikey.
i'll be there soon
Also, Joey stopped by again. Asked about Vicky. Hoped he could see you to talk about things.
i have nothing to say to him dada. u know that
It could be worth a shot, Dove.
he's a big shot disney actor now. he got his dream. i don't see why we need to talk
Dove, I know what you're implying and you know that's not fair. You guys weren't even publicly together. Only he and Vicky were.
whatever
it's too early for this shit and this isn't a conversation for over text
I get it.
I saw you were with Justin.
why did u say it like that
Say it like what? We're texting. You can't possibly know how I said it.
dada
u sound .... condescending
I'm going to be honest with you.
This back and forth isn't going to last forever, Dove. You know that. This isn't tug of war. You guys can't keep doing this to each other, even if it makes you happy in the moment. You're going to get hurt eventually.
Actually, he's already hurt you. Over and over. And you keep accepting it.
what do u want me to say
Nothing. I want you to get your head out of his ass.
god. that's not fair. i love him
Do you?
I know you, Dove. I don't think you've ever been alone. If it's not Zayn, it was Joey. When it wasn't Joey, it was Justin.
I remember you falling hard for each of them. There was always someone. Even after Zayn did what he did, you somehow found your way back to Justin.
Just know this time Vicky and Mikey might not be there to pick up the pieces. Be prepared.
this is the most i've seen joey's name in 4 years
i swore off his name u know? none of us talk about him
I know what you're trying to do, Adira.
i miss the dove
Adira. okay dada
i admit i have a hard time being by myself. loving myself. i guess i don't want to feel lonely. they fill the fucking void. and i know it's so fucking selfish to do that at the expense of other people .. making people put their lives on hold for me .. but i need someone
it was so easy w zayn at first. we were so young and in love and happy and i felt like i was on top of the world. he was my safe place for so long. then he chose perrie and i met joey and he felt so fresh and exciting. he was this young boy who just wanted to be an actor. felt like one of those fucking hollywood movies. then he chose vicky and i met justin and i loved him too and he chose hailey it's so fucked to be the second choice all the time. but i keep doing it to myself bc i can't be by my fucking self. and i guess i feel safe knowing everything is only temporary
then i started drowning my fucking shit w alcohol again and the fucking crash happened bc my friends were worried about me and now i'm right back with him and i can't stop myself bc it feels so good and i need it. i need the distraction
Dove, hurting and distracting yourself is only going to get you so far. You can't keep ignoring your shit. You're going to end up at the place you fought so hard to get out of.
I don't want to be worried about whether you're even fucking alive every time you don't pick up a call. I don't want to find you slumped in your bathtub. I don't want to visit you in rehab.
You deserve so, so much better than what you're accepting.
I thought things with your therapist were going well.
sometimes i got too busy to see them
i guess i should soon
Yes, you should.
How are you sure you even loved those boys?
maybe some of it was in my head w joey. but zayn and justin were so fucking real. i would've done anything for them. done anything to be who they wanted
i'm going to fix this tho
Hope you can. All I want is your happiness. That's all I want. And I know you're not happy right now.
But I trust you, Dove.
I hope you trust yourself with your own heart and happiness.
