I Do(n't) Care (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

-Laken's POV-

I was trying so hard to process everything Kaygen had said but my head was all over the place and I was just left feeling confused but more than that I felt sick.

He's telling me I was wrong all this time and Damon clicked on so quickly too, what could he read in Kaygen that I never could? He's my twin brother so how come I never stopped to question things?

To be fair, I was seriously depressed at the time, I couldn't think straight no matter what I did, I was so consumed by fear and shame that I thought the whole world would hate me for something I couldn't even control.

Being forced out of the closet was one of the worst things to ever happen to me and I wouldn't wish it on anybody, not even my worst enemy.

Which is why it confused me so much with just how open Damon is, he just waltzes into my life without a care in the world, deciding he wants me without even a second thought on what others may think, I wish I had that confidence, maybe things wouldn't have been too bad if I did.

And I can't believe dad made Kaygen date Sarah and until only a couple of months ago as well, how long has this been going on for? And here's me thinking they were a happy family without me, how could I be so wrong?

"What's it like...living there?" Is he not happy? Were they not the happy family they always wanted now I was gone and out of their lives?

"Hell," he sighed, staring at his hands and I watched his façade shatter to pieces in front of me. I saw it all, the fear, the hurt, he looked so lost and confused, it was hard to believe I was still looking at the same person.

"It's horrible living there, L. They constantly argue, when dad's not at work he's drinking, he spends most of his time drunk and mum, it's like she's in a whole different world, she barely even notices I'm there most of the time and never defends me against dad's harsh words.

Anytime he sees me, he has to say something about how useless I am, how it should have been me and not you. You were always the favourite child L; you might think that changed but it didn't. Even when they can't stand to say your name, you're still better than me.

I spend most of my time locked in my room, trying to block out the sounds, I can barely sleep at night sometimes, it gets so bad. The house is pretty baren now, dad has pretty much broke anything of nostalgic value.

He scares me sometimes, L. I can't even look at him anymore, he makes me feel sick, and then I always feel so selfish wishing things would go back to the way they were or just wishing I could run away from this place, knowing you've had it so much worse; I know I don't deserve to think like that."

Holy shit. I really wasn't expecting Kaygen to just open up to me like that and I really didn't know what to say, even I could tell he was holding back tears and I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

"So, is it safe to assume you don't hate me?" I asked, just wanting to clarify things real quick.

He chuckled, his eyes glancing up to the ceiling in an attempt to stop the tears from falling.

"I don't hate you, you're my brother, my twin, and I'm so fucking sorry. I was too much of a coward to stand up for you, and I'll be the first to say I'm a huge piece of shit."

"Okay...then I'll be the second to say you're a huge piece of shit, but um...what made you change your mind?"

"I met someone...they made me realise a lot of things, I don't know how to explain it, but I don't feel so weak anymore."

"Holy fuck, you're in love!" I shouted and Kaygen turned to me quickly with wide eyes.

"W-what?" He stammered in shock, seconds away from denying it.