Helped me in my darkest hour (Jerrie)

28- Confessions

On their way home, the two didn't talk much, both of them were very nervous and busy overthinking their thoughts.

As they were sitting at the dinner table later, Perrie put down her fork.

"Jade... I think we should talk"

Jade looked up from her plate "Ehm sorry what?"

"I said that we need to talk"

"Yea.. sure..." nodded Jade already drifting away with her thoughts.

Perrie sighed, she leaned forward and placed her hand on Jade's, which was just pushing her food from one side of the plate to the other

"Sorry Pez.... It's just so much going on in my head"

"Hey that's okay... why don't you tell me about it?"

Jade rubbed through her eyes "I wasn't expecting to feel this way when I get home... I don't know what it is... I was so happy the past days"

Perrie nodded, listening carefully. It was really like Jade had been conditioned to feel bad in this environment, she couldn't help it, everything about these walls just screamed darkness, sadness and sorrow.

"But what do you think about us in the meantime... should we tell anyone or...?" asked Perrie slowly.

Jade looked at Perrie and suddenly she began to panic, what if this was a big mistake? She wasn't ready yet.

Perrie stroked her hand "Baby... breathe... slowly..."

After Jade got a hold of her emotions again, Perrie looked at her "Really... would you be comfortable with telling anyone? Maybe just Leigh and Jesy or our families to begin with"

Jade snapped "I can't tell my family"

Perrie nodded quickly "That's okay. But what about Jesy and Leigh?"

"I don't know" and Jade really didn't know.

As far as Perrie could understand Jade's emotions and uncertainty, she really wanted to tell her family and friends, she wanted to scream it from the rooftops, tell the whole world. But she knew that Jade wasn't ready yet and she had to accept that.

"How about we wait a bit how it goes and then see...?"

"Yea... I guess that would be the best. Ehm do you excuse me for a moment" and with that Jade got up and left the room.

Perrie sat there for a while, thinking her part.

She knocked on the bathroom door "Jade, are you ok in there?"

"Yes" answered Jade right away.

"Jade, can you please open the door?"

After Perrie didn't hear a thing, she said "Please" once again, after which the door was unlocked slowly. And Jade stood in front of her.

"What were you doing in there?" asked Perrie critically, she knew just too well what Jade did in there the last times she spent time there on her own.

"Just washing me face.." Jade looked down.

"Really?" Perrie raised an eyebrow.

"Really." Said Jade more assertive and walked out the door to her room.

Perrie took a quick glance in the bathroom to search for anything odd, but when she found some cotton pads with makeup stains in the bin, she decided to believe Jade for now.

Then she walked to Jade's room and stood in the doorframe "Ehm... how will this go about... will we share a room or?"

Jade looked up from her book quickly "Ehm Pez... don't get this wrong, but I'd actually prefer to have some alone time for now, I'm just really tired and need to think about stuff... but tomorrow we can talk about stuff if you want"