feel something » Sebastian Stan «

Part 13

I don't get to enjoy my solitude for long before I sense a presence behind me.

"You did not just pull that move back there." 

I'm surprised to hear Scarlett's voice as she steps up next to me and leans on the railing. Obviously she witnessed all that went down just a few minutes ago.

I don't respond immediately, just take a long drag of my cigarette instead, desperately trying to steady my shaking hands.

"What are you afraid of Lena?" she asks in a genuine, gentle voice.

"I don't know Scar. This fucking effect he has on me scares me for real." I try to explain which is kinda hard when you can't even sort out what's going on in your own head.

"Why?" she cocks her head to the side.

"I just don't want to lose him. It sounds so disgustingly cliche but really, he's my best friend. I know I've only known him for like two weeks but you know what it's like when you have that instant connection with someone. In only a few days time he helped me to break out of the fucking rat race that's my life and made me feel alive for the first time in years. When I let someone get close to me I'm in a constant fear of them walking out just as quick as they came." I ramble and run my hand through my hair in frustration.

"Wow, that's a lot." she chuckles sympathetically.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away there. Gotta love abandonment issues though." I inhale another cloud of smoke.

"I think if you feel insecure about something you should talk to him about it. He's not the type who gets the subtleties. But in this case I genuinely think you would benefit from whatever this is going on between you two." she explains.

"Why?" it's my turn to ask her.

"Because as you said, I know what it's like to instantly click with someone and I think you shouldn't let this feeling go unacknowledged."

"You can't seriously think he wants anything more than someone to rail tonight." I state bluntly and raise a brow at her.

"You could be surprised." she shrugs before squeezing my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. "Just promise me you'll think about it."

"I'll try." she sends me a small smile before walking away and leaving me alone again in my confused state.

God knows how much time passes and how many cigarettes I destroy before the glass door of the balcony opens again, the sound of it ripping me out of my thoughts. I glance over my shoulder to see the man I'm trying to avoid the most so I turn back away just as fast.

Sebastian walks up close then hugs me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder which causes me to grip the railing harder.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks.

"Trust me, it's better if you don't know what's going on in my head.It's a dark and scary place.

"I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm a big man."

I can't help but chuckle at this.

"Still. I don't know how to explain what's going through up there, even I am clueless sometimes." I mutter.

"You're overthinking way too much. It would do you good to just let go sometimes." he shifts slightly and I feel his lips graze my shoulder as he speaks. His deep voice vibrates against my skin with each word.

"We both know I'm notoriously bad at that. Overthinking is my second nature." it takes everything in me to stop my voice from shaking and he knows it.

Then soft lips are pressed against my shoulder. 

Oh shit.

Slowly and teasingly he kisses his way up my neck. My head instinctively drops back, giving him even more access. God knows I want to but I can't stop a soft moan escaping my mouth when he finds the spot he's been searching for.

After a minute of pure bliss my mind finally realizes what the hell's going on and I rip myself away from him.

"This is not right Seb." I say as I turn around to face him.

 Which I regret instantly when I meet his gaze. I can barely see the ocean blue of his irises as the pupils conquered most of his eyes, filled with desire.

"Why?" he asks innocently.

"Because you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you when you regret this." I sigh and look away.

Love the 'when' instead of 'if', you're sounding real confident here Lena.

He cups my face with one of his hands gently and forces me to look back at him.

"You're not going to lose me. I'll still be your best friend tomorrow."

I feel myself letting go of my better judgment as he grips my waist tighter and caresses my cheekbone with his thumb slowly. Fuck him and how he knows I won't be able to resist for much longer.

"Promise me it won't be awkward afterwards." I plead.

"I promise prinţesă." his lips are brushing against mine when he whispers, looking deeply into my eyes.

At this point I'm trapped between the railing and his body with no chance of escaping, but to be completely fair I don't even want to anymore. I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, internally fighting with myself before completely giving in.
That's when I look up to meet his scorching gaze again.

"Okay." I whisper.

As soon as the word leaves my mouth his lips are crashing down on mine. I let my fingers dig into his hair as our tongues are brushing against each other, the kiss growing hungrier with every passing second.

His warm hand disappears in my hair and he grabs a handful at the base of my neck while the other slides down the small of my back, before eventually it rests on my ass. He lifts me up with ease without breaking the kiss and since he's still grabbing my hair, he pulls my head to the side where he attacks my neck again.

He groans against my skin when my hip buckles subconsciously and I gasp as he sucks on my neck hard, for sure leaving a mark.

"Fuck." I whimper, out of breath.

He kisses up his way over my jaw but stops just when he's about to reach my lips.

"That's exactly what we're going to do doll." he basically growls before capturing my lips in another mind blowing kiss. His hand clasps around my neck as we continue to fight for dominance but as soon as i feel that i know there's no chance i'll win.

Fuck me and my daddy issues. I don't even have a dad, what in the actual fuck?

"Let's get the hell away from here then." i whisper when we pull away in a desperate need of a breath.

And oh boy, I didn't have to tell him twice.