Life's An Asshole And So Are You

.... i hate this and im so so tired

i dont know who else to go to

IM TIRED 

I HATE THIS 

I DONT WANT THIS 

FUCK 

ok 1. i dont like being yelled at and i hate it 

2. im a people pleaser and i hate it when people feel bad because of me

3. i have adhd (or might not havent been to the doctor yet bc im scared) 

4. my sister has therapy, i dont 

ok 

now my dad called me, and it started off fine 

originally, my mom called my dad and told him to tell me to do my flvs (florida virtual school fuck that shit btw) 

now, i told my dad i didnt like it when mom lied about things to get me to do them 

and he asked me why i didnt just do them 

now, sometimes i feel like just not doing the assignment

he compared me to motherfucking trump and basically said i had the same mindset as him 

he told me i could just go to another family and he could arrange that, and i hate my family but i didnt want that bc 

1. i am extremely insecure about my body and i hate my tan lines and i also hate sunscreen it feels weird 

2. this is also another may or may not have not sure but i might have social anxiety

3. i would have no clue how to act i dont really have many irl friends and i cant talk to my mom/dad so obviously i wouldnt know what to do

now i told him no, and he was like "im trying to help you cant you see that" and "i just want the best for you" but 

IF I DONT WANT TO DO SOMETHING I DONT FUCKING WANT TO NO MATTER WHO ASKS

and so i started crying and he said "fine, if you dont want me or my help ill leave you alone, contact me the next time you want help" 

AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO FUCKING START CONVERSATIONS so i guess me and my dad are gone now

and honestly i want to jump off a cliff

and before you tell me to contact him or some shit or forgive him or go to my mother. dont. ive already been told that enough times and ive been denied so many things that at this point i wont say shit to them about anything i want unless its a necessity

goodbye.