Life's An Asshole And So Are You

When Life Gives You Lemons

Hey guys! Me here! (Duh who else?) And I just wanted to say, wow you're bored. BUT SO AM I!!!!

(So am I, so am I so am I-I-I-I-I)

Anyways vote plz love you all, and i'll check the comments like weekly.

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I take the bus everyday, and usually have a tendency to sleep on the bus, which is usually pretty normal right? One day, I'm minding my business when I get woken up because I've been leaning on someone. Okay, i'll stop, since I can't really control that I go: Hey, I'll be nice and just not sleep!

And then there's this boy, we'll call him Carl, since it sounds like Karen. (he was sort of like a bully to me, but no offense to anyone named Carl whatsoever. I've met a few, and they're nice. Usually.) and he goes:
"Haha her friend had to wake you up so you could stop leaning on her."
I resist the urge to say:

"Actually, I can't really control what I do when i'm asleep so you can do me a favor. Shut the fuck up, turn around, and mind your goddamned business."

But I don't. I say something completely different. He goes again, I go again, he goes, I go, he goes, I go. Then he goes back to the topic of my sleeping position, and I pretend to listen when I really am just thinking

"Wow, my friends are probably going to laugh harder at him than he's laughing at me."
(Made more sense in my mind)

I think.

He continues to prattle on until we get to that girl's school. She then asks me if I can let her go out.

"Sure!" I say, I don't really think much about it. THEN CARL COMES IN.

"Haha, she didn't want to sit next to you."
(Internal self = this text)

Actually I think she either didn't want to sit near you or had friends she wanted to talk to.

"Ok, and?"

He starts blabbing again.

They get off the bus and I sit near my bus friend Karen. She's not a Reddit Karen, and she's actually pretty nice. I tell her what just transpired and she laughs.

I still think he's a bitch. Karma, please kick his ass one day.

End of Story