Cordelia Goode x Reader- Instead

You still permit me to be close enough

There's a lot of silence after her admitting that and the two of you kind of calm down after feeling the heat of emotions since Cordelia arrived in your apartment. ''Can we sit down?'' you ask and point towards the sofa after a while and the supreme nods and this time you sit down next to her and you get some water like you originally intended to. ''Thanks'' she says with her soft voice and a lot of thoughts are rushing through your head currently. ''Dee we have talked a lot about us and I'm thankful that you are this open with me about everything but I will need some time to make sense of it all'' you say and meet her brown eyes that seem so understanding. ''Of course anything you need'' she replies and you say ''Can we talk about what happened while I was gone?'' you ask with puppy eyes and you both know that when you look at Cordelia like this she can't deny you anything. ''Of course sweetheart'' she answers out of a habit and when she realizes what she said she quickly looks at you with wide eyes hoping she didn't just mess anything up. ''It's okay'' you say and you hear a sigh of relieve. ''Lets start with how you became supreme'' you say and a little shy smile appears on Cordelia's face and she starts explaining about the seven wonders and she mentions Misty a few times and also her mothers passing and you are surprised to hear about Fiona being so honest with her daughter and part of you is relieved that they at least talked about things before Fiona's passing and that Cordelia now understands that it was never her fault for her mother's behavior. The two of you talk until the late hours of the night and Cordelia tells you about Hank and how she found out he cheated after the acid attack and that she ended up divorcing him. Although you feel happy you can't help some tears streaming down your cheeks when she talks about the time she was blinded and her visions because you can't imagine to begin how painful that must have been for her both physically but also mentally. Cordelia is so focused on talking about all of the things you have missed, also happy things that she doesn't notice your crying. She starts talking about some of the promising new students and some of the silly things Coco has done and said so far and the tears quickly change into laughter and Cordelia talks about everything in so much detail that it kind of feels like you were at the coven all along and you imagine being in all of those situations. You did notice however that Cordelia talked about everyone including Zoe, and Queenie and she talks about her plans to go to LA but ended up changing her plans thanks to Mallory mentioning something and it dawns on you that no one has talked about Madison yet. ''Dee?'' you ask and kind of pull her out of her thoughts and swelling in memories. ''How come neither you or Queenie and Zoe have talked about Madison?'' you ask curiously and the supreme's expression quickly changes into a serious one. ''Wait the girls didn't tell you?'' she asks and you shake your head innocently not quite sure what she is implying. ''Um Y/N Madison is.. we found her one night and it must have been Kyle, after that he left the academy'' and your jaw drops a little because you have never been too fond of the blonde but she was part of your family too after all. ''How come you haven't brought her back yet?'' you ask and Cordelia explains that Madison wasn't too kind especially in those months after you left the academy and that it not always too easy bringing someone back and messing with the gates of hell or Papa Legba for that matter. You nod trying to make sense of her words and a comfortable atmosphere sets between you and the blonde. Although you haven't been around each other in years everything feels so natural and that nothing has really changed despite everything having changed. The two of you continue talking, this time you talk about everything that happened in your life, the jobs you had and your degree and also some of the witches you have taught over the years and some interesting and funny stories about them. Having the supreme this close to you and on your sofa ignites your old feelings but at the same time you don't want to rush anything. Cordelia admitting she wouldn't let you go again and the only reason she didn't contact you was because she didn't want to make you feel like a second choice proves a few things to you. One of them being that Cordelia is a selfless woman and would literally rather cause herself pain and heartache and being lonely just to ensure that you wouldn't feel unwanted and as a second choice. At the same time her apology proves to you that she wouldn't make the same mistake again and a lot of ''What ifs?'' are currently clouding your mind again ''What if she still loves me? What if we could have a chance?''. At this point its the middle of the night and catching up with her means so much to you that you don't want this night to end but you feel exhausted from the past few nights and you not being able to sleep well and the exhaustion of feeling all of those emotions today. Cordelia smiled a little at you constantly yawning but you reassuring her you aren't tired and that you won't fall asleep. She remembers the many nights when the both of you hung out together and whether it was stargazing or watching movies you always told her you wouldn't fall asleep and minutes after you were asleep. ''I should get going'' she says and suddenly you are wide awake again because part of you doesn't want her to leave especially not in the middle of the night. ''Where are you going to go? there will be no trains now'' you say a bit clouded from the tiredness and Cordelia chuckles and answers ''I'm the supreme silly I can teleport back to the coven'' and you smile and your cheeks blush a little bit from her words. ''Okay'' you mumble and you walk her to the front door ''It was lovely catching up with you Y/N and I will give you some time now like you asked but please actually promise me to not be a stranger this time okay?'' she asks and you nod and she searches your eyes for any sign of doubts or a lie but she can't find any. ''I promise Dee'' you say and as she walks out the door she turns around one more time and suddenly her warm arms wrap around yours and the familiarity of being in her arms shocks both of you and Cordelia quickly pulls away again and apologizes. ''I'm sorry Y/N it was a habit I'm-'' but you stop her by returning the hug and saying ''It's okay Dee'' and she smiles at you one more time before whispering ''Good night'' and a huge smile spreads across your face as you close the door and walk to your bedroom too tired to properly think about everything that happened in the past few hours and basically you passing out in bed and falling asleep straight away.