Chapter Eighteen

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Dean woke up alone again, just like the past few mornings. He had fallen asleep next to Cas the night before, cuddled up against his chest all nice and warm. Of course, sometime this morning, Cas probably slipped out of the room before Sam or anyone could notice. Dean hated waking up without Cas next to him, but he knew it was a necessary sacrifice for now.

    With a small sigh, Dean sat up, rubbing his eyes which still hurt from exhaustion. Despite having Cas beside him last night, he still didn't sleep well. They didn't do anything but talk last night, and a few kisses here and there, but otherwise innocent. Dean shouldn't have been this tired, but there were a lot of things going on in his head that kept him awake. He felt bad because Cas never went to sleep until Dean was snoring beside him, so Cas had to be exhausted too.

    As if he knew Dean was thinking about him, Cas quietly opened the door after a small knock, not bothering to wait for Dean's answer before coming into the room. He left the door wide open, which was fine because Sam was probably up and roaming around. "I brought coffee and breakfast," Cas said, putting a sleepy smile on Dean's face. He walked over to the bed, sitting the cup of coffee on the side table and the plate of food on the bed next to Dean. "You look horrible," Cas sighed, hesitantly reaching a hand to brush through Dean's hair.

    "Thanks, babe," Dean teased, batting Cas' hand away before grabbing for his coffee. Cas gave him a sad smile and Dean shrugged it off. "Just haven't been sleeping well. It doesn't help that I wake up to an empty bed every morning."

    Cas was quiet for a moment, long enough for Dean to look up from his coffee to figure out what he was feeling. "Dean, you know I would stay if-"

    "I know," Dean cut him off, feeling guilty for bringing it up. It was Dean's fault that Cas didn't stay with him. Dean was the one afraid of involving Sam and Jack out of fear of what John would do if he knew they were helping hide Dean's relationship with a dude. "How do you always manage to wake up before Sam anyways?" Dean wondered, trying to sound more light hearted to get the frown off of Cas' face.

    Cas looked a little guilty as he shoved the plate of food into Dean's lap, making sure Dean was eating. Dean rolled his eyes, but obliged and took a giant spoonful of the eggs on his plate. "I don't," Cas finally said, earning him a confused look. He hesitated, looking towards the door as Jack's bedroom door slammed down the hall. "I just wait for you to fall asleep and then I move to the couch," Cas explained.

    Dean swallowed his food down in one gulp, raising an eyebrow at the angel. "Seriously? You must not get very much sleep then," Dean worried, but Cas only smiled and shrugged, like it was no big deal. "Cas, I'm not kidding. That's gotta be bad for you. You already told me you can't sleep well on your own, and now you're saying you wait for me to fall asleep before you leave? You have to be exhausted."

    "It's fine, Dean," he assured the other man, sitting on the bed next to him. Dean continued gaping at him, trying to figure out a solution. "Today's my day off anyways. I'll catch up on some sleep before the date tonight."

    "I'll tell Sam soon," Dean promised, glancing down the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before pressing a chaste kiss to Cas' temple. "Just gotta figure out the best time."

    Cas smiled sweetly, his hand finding the small of Dean's back to rub it gently. "No rush, Dean. Whenever you're ready," he assured him. Dean appreciated Cas not trying to rush him, but Dean was serious about telling Sam. He needed to make sure Cas was sleeping and since it was his fault Cas wasn't getting any sleep, he had to fix it. "Now eat your breakfast," Cas added, standing up suddenly. "I'm walking Jack to the kitchen for work if you'd like to join. We're leaving soon."

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