After the End

Chapter Twenty-Six

Dean realized that Bobby had meant it when he said they should stay out of John's way for the next three weeks until they had a solid plan. He knew Bobby was right, too. These were all things Dean recognized and knew he should consider before doing something stupid, like summoning the King of Hell. However, Dean despised sitting around waiting for something to happen. If he could just talk to Crowley again, maybe they could come up with a way to keep everyone safe and get rid of John without making a deal. Or if Dean had to make a deal, maybe there was a way to keep Sam and Bobby and Cas from finding out about it.

Dean thought the best time to sneak off and complete a summoning ritual, which he read about in one of Sam's nerd books, was after everyone else was asleep. Dean had gathered as much as he could for the spell, the rest he'd have to find. He had to locate a weapon too, since John had since confiscated them all without Dean's knowing.

Carefully, and without waking Cas, Dean untangled himself from the angel's heavy limbs and quietly slid out from under the covers. He winced as the floor creaked under his feet, but Cas didn't move an inch. Dean waited a few seconds just to make sure he was in the clear, then continued moving across the room. He left his duffle in the closet to hide it from Sam, so he snuck across the room and tried to carefully open the closet door. He grabbed his bag successfully, swinging it over his shoulder as he moved across the dark room. He thought he was in the clear, but before he could make it to the door, he tripped over a pair of shoes and went flying into the closed door.

"Dean?" Cas said, shooting up in bed with an alarmed tone in his voice. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" The angel was still half asleep, but not enough that Dean could convince him nothing was going on and tell him to go back to sleep.

"I'm fine," Dean promised, trying to hide his bag from Cas' view. It was dark, but the window provided enough moonlight that Dean was just visible enough to make out in front of the door. All he could see, though, was Cas' silhouette. "I was just going for a walk."

"With your bag?" Cas accused, throwing the cover back as he got out of bed, his feet shuffling lazily over to where Dean stood. Apparently, Dean hadn't been quick enough with hiding the duffle. "Why are you lying, Dean? When did we start lying to each other?"

"I-" Dean started, but he didn't have a good answer. Cas was right. "I was going to summon Crowley," he admitted, guiltily.

"Dean," Cas warned, suddenly wide awake after Dean's revelation.

"I know, it's stupid," Dean sighed, tightening his grip on his bag. "But I have to do something." Just because he told Cas the truth, didn't mean he wasn't going to do it. Even if it meant sleeping on the couch and being on the receiving end of Cas' death glares for the foreseeable future.

"You've already done so much," Cas argued, stepping closer as if that would stop Dean from walking out the door. "I've almost lost you too many times. I'm not letting you put yourself in harm's way again. Not until we have a solid plan. This isn't just stupid, Dean. This is destructive. It's suicide."

Dean dropped his bag to the floor beside him, knowing this conversation was going to take longer than he thought. Cas wasn't weak, so Dean couldn't just push his way out the door without a fight. His only way out of this was with sound reasoning. "So you just want me to sit and wait until John takes one of our friends again? Or maybe he'll just go for who would hurt me the most- you. Then what, Cas? It'll be too late."

Even in the dark room, Dean could see the way Cas' face twisted into a sad, pained look. The same one he had when he told Dean he loved him. "When are you going to start caring about your own safety? You have so much love in your heart, Dean, for everyone but yourself."