Random Shit

WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT GROWING UP

Or how my life bursted into flames in the span of one year but got all the better for it.

So as some of you may know, I'm what's known as Wattpad old. Honestly, I've never met anyone on Wattpad older than me, so maybe it'd be more aptly called Wattpad fucking ancient. I'm 27. But until last year, I honestly wasn't an adult. Now, I am. But it was nowhere near easy getting here. 

Imagine the growing pains of having to go from dumbass toddler woman to A Real Live Grown-up in record time. Normally people have about 27 years, more or less, to become 27 years old. I, on the other hand, had to stretch from baby to mama in an uncomfortable span of like 9 and a half months. I literally became an entirely different person in the time it takes to give birth to an entirely new person. That's right, kids. I birthed myself. lol Just call me Mama Kristen, hatched from her own ass.

I know a lot of you are in your early or mid-teens on here. Or if you're in your late teens, you're probably already really feeling the pressure to Grow Up. I'm here to tell you that there literally is no pressure because you're not going to Grow Up. At least not until you're ready and probably not in the way that society tells you to.

Growing up is a scam. Don't do it.

That being said, there will come a day where you will want more from life. And when that comes, make sure you're really ready, then fucking TAKE IT. Fight life right in the balls.

DO NOT: Ask for permission from anyone. People will always tell you no and try to scare you away from your dreams. Especially if they're big.

DO: Be smart and realistic. Know what you want but know what is out of your reach. Keep your feet on the ground but your head in the clouds.

DO NOT: Settle for less than you know you deserve. Now the tricky part here is actually KNOWING what you deserve and that's where loving yourself comes in handy. If you put a high value on your head, you're gonna get better out of life. If you hate yourself and think you're worthless, life's pretty much gonna just keep handing you shit to eat and you're gonna smack your lips and say, "more please, yum!" Don't eat shit, people. Sticks to your teeth like nothing else.

DO: Learn to trust yourself. If you're constantly second guessing whether or not you're capable of doing something you're going to wig yourself out and you're going to get nowhere.

DO NOT: Let other people break your boundaries. That means you gotta set boundaries, poppet. If you're anything like I was, you're going to be terrified to tell people 'no' because why? Because you want them to love you. BUT you literally HAVE to figure out what crosses the line for you and not be afraid to speak up, screaming like a banshee if you have to, until you are heard. If they can't respect that, then they can't respect you and it's time to drop em like it's hot.

DO: Drop people when necessary. Careful though, you don't wanna end up lonely on the side of the road eating raccoon fur, but you do really need to evaluate each relationship in your life. If the person adds to your life, keep them. If they detract, subtract them like this: -1. See? Easy.

DO NOT: Be overly dependent on anyone or anything. Listen to RM when he says, "All I need is me. All you need is you." Sad but true. This isn't going to say that you are going to be alone but honestly YOU need to be THE person that you can turn to whenever you need anything. You should also strive to be someone others can depend on too and then hopefully in return, after you've given all this beautiful selfless love, you find someone who cares enough to give you the same in return.

DO: Know when you're in the wrong. Yes, you should speak up to others when you know they're wrong, but you REALLY need to learn to speak up to yourself when you've done goofed up. You ain't perfect. Don't pretend. Know yourself. Get to know exactly why you suck and then either accept those flaws and flaunt them like a proud asshat, or change them until you become someone who sucks a little less. The goal either way is to love every bit of yourself. Doesn't mean you can't love the nasty bits as well, but don't sit with self hatred. Her farts are absolutely putrid! Trust me.