Random Shit

BTS Birthday Analysis

Yup, I'm back at it with another one of these voodoo hoobly goobly type posts that Professor Trelawney would probably try to teach Hermione while dodging teacups that are being hurled at her. 

This time, I used a birthday analyzer and plugged in all their birfdays to see if it matched up with how they really are.

Less git it! Less git it! Less git it! Less git it!

First up,

J-Hope - February 18, 1994

Career: Circus Performer, Stunt Person, Limbo Dancer (I mean, they got the dancer part right but picturing Hobi as a stunt person is enough to make me pee my bed.)

Key Features: Impulsive, Reckless, Dynamic (I don't know the dude personally but he doesn't seem reckless to me at all. He seems super cautious actually. But he's DEFINITELY dynamic, our ultimate hype beast.)

Naturally good at: Being fired out of a cannon symbolically and literally (Again... freaking picture how loud Hoseok would scream if we fired him out of a cannon.)

Character: You're one crazy dude. You will try anything for the sheer hell of it. You like to live by the seat of your pants and have unlimited potential. You're not focused enough to have a standard job but your life certainly doesn't lack adventure. You see a risky situation and you go for it. Try to avoid gambling as you would not know when to stop. (Idk. It's like half right to me. Cuz he's crazy in a fun way not in a reckless way and they were pretty right about his career. Can you picture him working in an office? Nah...)

Life path: You will always go one step further in a dare and need to watch this tendency to feel indestructible. Why do you need this high octane life? Your dramatic and dynamic personality craves love but you look in the wrong direction and have mainly pals around you who encourage you to misbehave. (Maybe his anxiety is what's keeping him from being a pyromaniac then. lol)

Love: You tend to want to be a show off when you first meet someone and your adolescent jokes and party tricks do not hi the right chord. Try being a bit quieter and talk more about the inner you. Why not go for a Aries whose ruler Mars is your birthday ruler? (Cough, cough. Hey, HobiLove. I'm an Aries. Call me.)

Best present: Trampoline, Scooter (lol I so wanna see him playing on a trampoline now)

Next up,

Suga - March 9, 1993

Career: Football Player, Singer, Rodeo Rider (I'm peeing! Yoongi as a singer or haha riding a bull HELP!)

Key Features: Erotic, Eager, Consuming (Oh crap! Does this mean lil Meow Meow meant something else when he said tongue technology?)

Naturally good at: Taking things personally (What are you talking about? He doesn't give a shit! Doesn't give a fuck! .... Unless maybe he does. Sad life.)

Character: Scorching and sexy you're one hot potato. You have loads of energy and masses of enthusiasm, in fact you do not know when to stop and can get totally knackered every month or so and not know why. Calm down a bit and plot your rise to stardom and success comes easier. (Fuck! haha He's one hot potato! LOADS OF ENERGY AND ENTHUSIASM OMG DID I GET HIS BIRFDAY WRONG OR SOMETHING? Yeah, calm down, Yoongi! If he calms down any more, he's gonna die.)

Life path: You could be called full on but sometimes you are quite so that would not be fair. You are sensitive to others opinions and can get a little paranoid if you are not greeted with open arms. You have an argumentative streak but get wounded if you are criticized so I would knock the quarreling on the head as it is counter productive. We all have our own truth and life is not black and white. (You lost me.)