Every Girl I've Loved A Lifetime Ago

Helena

Helena was Adeline's roommate.
Her black, straight hair looked almost blue in some light and her bangs hid her gray, bored almond shaped eyes.
She had sharp, pronounced cheek bones and an indifferent air around her, like she couldn't be bothered by what anyone else thought.
Something about her intimidated me.
We were at a club with Adeline and Lincoln.
The shitty EDM music was deafening, the fluorescent lights blinding, the strong drinks Lincoln handed us numbing.
Helena looked at me and screamed over the music, "this party is awful."
I was inclined to agree.
"You wanna get out of here?" she spoke next.
I froze, Melody's fingers flashing before my eyes. I took a swig of whatever was in my glass to stall. "Thought you didn't swing that way?"
Helena's face remained apathetic.
"It's college," she shrugged.
And suddenly everything was so funny to me.
The ridiculously expensive Air Jordans I was wearing, the ginger couple who looked like brother and sister grinding on the dancefloor, the short, clipped accent Helena spoke in, the knowledge that if anyone so much as touched me, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking of Melody and the painful ecstasy she brought me.
I laughed, hysteric and loud and sudden.
I laughed so much I started crying.
Sobbing and choking and knowing I could have stopped her if I wanted.