My Secret Shadow

2

I told Drake about the attack, he called me out for the next day. He jumps onto his computer at the table. I try to go cook something but he tells me to sit across from him. I listen and when he finds what he's looking for he grins and spins the laptop around.

"Please, just look into it. I'll start cooking."

A therapist, he wants me to look into a therapist.

"I can't, my anxiety."

"They'd help with that! That's the whole point of therapy. It hurts me to see you like this, I'm so sorry this is happening to you but we need to get you some help. You can't keep having these attacks, they aren't good for your mental and physical health."

"I can't go to therapy, I just can't."

"But you can. I know you, you're strong enough, I know you are."

"It's expensive," I try and argue.

"Cost doesn't matter when comes to your health."

I keep quiet, but turn back to the screen.  There's many different faces with descriptions of what they specialize in.

"I'm crazy, they'll think I'm crazy. I am crazy, I'm not normal, this isn't normal."

"You are normal Damien, trust me. You are working through a lot mentally, and that's okay. It happens to the best people."

I tell myself to remain calm and go through the list. I find a girl who is lgbt friendly and specializes in teens with depression and anxiety. She is pretty young too, that makes me more comfortable. I copy her info.

-

I see the shadow again when I enter my dark room after dinner. I turn on the lights and close the doors, I take a deep breath and open the door to see it's gone. It's my imagination, just my anxiety.

Everything will be okay.

There's a gift on my bed, I smile and plop down next to it. I shake it a little, trying to see what's inside. I grab it and run to Drake. He smiles and brings me to the couch. When I open it I see 3 tickets, I pick it up and examine it. I croak, then slam them on the table and hug my brother. My favorite band, playing in 2 weeks, just one state down. I call Maddy first thing, still holding my brothers arm.

"Sir Damien, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Your royalty Maddy, guess what Drake just did?"
"You take to long to answer! We are seeing I Don't Know How!"

She paused, then continues by screaming and running to her parents. We share the news with her mom and dad, my brother bought Maddy, him and I tickets to see IDKHBTFM (I Don't Know How But They Found Me). After all the excitement, and talking for the next hour, then thanking him a million times, we decided it's time to sleep.

I get ready for bed at normal, without seeing a spirit. Logged onto my computer and had a nice phone call with my online friends about my birthday. Dad didn't come home, but he face timed and wished me a sweet 16. I do the normal, bathroom, meditation, then put music on in the back to help me sleep. I fell asleep faster than usual. Must be the excitement.

-

I see my dad, sitting at work crushing his mind over things he has to do. I go up to him, he ignores me, he doesn't even recognize I'm there. I put my hand on his shoulder, it's goes through. I try saying his name but get no comment back. I look at his computer, and make out many phrasing's and graphs I don't know.

I turn around and see my brother. He's off of school and at his job, running and working his butt off. He check's his watch when it buzzes, then runs to his boss. He throws down an apron and runs to get his things. I follow him out and see him getting in his car. I want to go too. I get in but I can't sit on the seats, yet still I follow him, he goes to my school.

I turn around and see the shadow, I close my eyes. I count to three and open them again, when I open them the shadow is closer than before. I shut my eyes and shake my head, the shadow didn't go away. I can see facial features. A masculine jawline, ears peaking out behind slicked back hair.

"GO AWAY!" I scream out, shutting my eyes.

I sink down in the plain white room, my knees to my chest. I don't dare open my eyes.

"I won't hurt you."

A whisper, of a distorted voice that I don't recognize.

"I would never ever hurt you, Damien."

"SHUT UP! GO AWAY!"

I have tears streaming down my face. I want to wake up, this is a dream, this has to be a dream.

"I'm sorry," I feel a tap on my head, it's light, harmless. "I never mean to scare you. I'm not what you think I am, I'm not a demon. I'm also not your imagination. I'm real, you are real, this is real."

The moment the hand releases my head, I feel a stab in my brain, I try and scream for help, to wake up, but no words come out. I feel the shadow sit next to me, it puts its hand on my back and leans into my side. The pain in my head goes away. But, I'm still terrified, paralyzed in fear.

"Shh. Everything will be okay, Damien. I'm only here to protect you, I'd never cause any harm. As long as I'm here, you'll be safe."

I sit there for what feels like forever, my crying slows, the shadow never leaves, I never open my eyes. Then I fall asleep.

I wake up, not in fear, but drenched in sweat and dry tears on my cheeks. It was a dream. I knew it was. A bad horrible dream. My anxiety is causing this. I stay in bed, not daring to move. I keep my eyes close, I focus on my breathing, I remind myself it's not real.