The Dark of You (GxG)

23. How tall are you?

I rapidly knocked on the door of Rylan's apartment in a hurry. Not long after, she opened it with a frown as she crossed her arms over her chest. Like every other evening the past month. Rylan stands in the doorway in a black tank top and dark gray sweatpants. 

"I'm bored," I said, and I was about to enter her apartment, but she moved in the way. She tilted her head as I clenched my jaw as I looked into those blue eyes. 

"How tall are you?" I asked as I always have to use an inch of energy to lift my head to look up at her. Rylan's eyebrows shot up as her mouth opened in confusion. 

"I'm six feet," She answered in the end.

"Seriously?" I blurted out, annoyed with how lucky some people are. She has some incredible genes: those blue eyes, blond hair, tall and muscles. Then we have people like me who get the crap from their parents. I couldn't get my mother's eyes or her beautiful hair. No, I'm stuck with most of my father's genes. Unfortunately, I couldn't get his height. Yet, then the reminder that she doesn't even know how her parents look like hit me like a sledgehammer. I guess we can't get it all, can we? 

"Yes," She nodded as if she wasn't sure she had to answer or not. 

"Can I come in?" I asked unsurely as she has always just let me in the past month without even a word. She seemed to consider it for a while before she moved to the side to make space for me to enter. With hesitation, I slowly sat down on the couch, which has been the place I have spent most of my evenings. Yet, there is something off with Rylan's behavior this time. I try to pay attention to the television, but her pacing behind the couch becomes annoying.  

"Rylan!" I shouted as she managed to burst the bubble that made me explode. She stopped immediately with a disapproving frown. 

"What's wrong?" I asked calmly this time as I noticed the sweat on her forehead. The worry in my chest builds up tension in my beating heart. 

"Nothing," She responded and I bit my inner cheek as I let out a loud sigh. It's her response to everything. She doesn't want to talk about her sleep issues, her nightmare and what happened to her. I jumped out of the couch to stand in the middle of her pacing. She furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. 

"I'm not blind, soldier. I know there is something wrong," I crossed my arms over my chest but then let them to the side as her breathing got out of control. 

"Hey," I laid my hands on her shoulders to keep her eyes on me, but they wander all over the place in a panic.

"Look at me," I said quietly and she finally did. 

"Breath," I told her and she closed her eyes firmly as though it would pull her away from here. 

"Nice and calm," She opened her eyes again and her blue eyes watched me as if they were made of ice. 

"I don't know where you just went, Rylan, but it scares me," I admitted and swallowed the lump. The fear she had in her eyes was the most frightening thing I had ever seen. 

***

I was about to turn to Rylan to say something but kept my mouth shut as she had fallen asleep. Sadness hit me right in the heart as her shirt pulled itself up when she slid down into the couch. Those burn marks she has on her arm are also on the side of her firm belly. I have so many questions, but I can't ever seem to get answers to them.

Rylan has been by my side for almost two months now. I admit to myself now that I have enjoyed her company. She might not talk much, but she doesn't have to say a thing. Her silence speaks more, even though explaining her trauma would turn down my worry. 

I moved back into the couch as she raised herself quickly up the couch. Her eyes were wide as she struggled to reach for a breath, but a second later, she found air. I sat frozen in my seat as I didn't even have time to react to her sudden movement. I opened my mouth but closed it as I didn't know what to say. 

"I'm fine," She sounded as if she was choking as she said that. 

"And I'm straight," I threw my arms up in frustration. She turned to me in all seriousness. 

"I'm joking," I rolled my eyes and rubbed my forehead. 

"I have never been around someone like you before, Rylan and I'm not sure if that is a compliment or not. Because a part of me is scared," I sat up closer to her. 

"And I don't mean scared of you, but for you," She got up on her feet to get away from our conversation. 

"Is that all you know!" I shouted to get her attention and she eventually turned around to me. I went over to stand right in front of her to glance into those broken eyes. 

"To walk away from a confrontation, is that all you know?" I asked and she narrowed her eyebrows as if I offended her. 

"Sometimes you seem okay and then just like right now, you have a panic attack,"

"I didn't have a panic attack,"

"Yes, you did!" I argued and she straightened up as if her height would intimidate me.

"I think you should go back to your apartment," She said calmly. With a loud breath, I hide my frustration behind my hands. 

"Fine," I shook my head as I gave up on the way to the door, but I stopped myself as I was on the way to reach for the door handle. 

"No," I said to myself. 

"What?" I turned to Rylan in a fury.  

"You are the most annoying person," I rushed over to her again.

"I have ever met and you are so damn stubborn," I poked her collarbone.

"I thought I was stubborn, but I swear to god that you are ten times worse than me," I poked her again, which made her take a step back to grab my wrist. I winced at how firm her grip was and she let me go right away. 

"I'm sorry," She said and I wrapped my hand around my sore wrist. 

"You are too strong for your own good," I almost chuckled, which made her give me a sad smile. 

"You should go back to your apartment," She said and I nodded as I know that I'm not going anywhere with her, no matter how much I push at the moment.

"Goodnight," I offered her a smile. 

"Goodnight,"