Girl Space Friend (BIAMI)

Chapter 29

Edric's POV

Kakatapos lang ng exam namin nun nang pumunta ako sa work ni Tita Dithas para sana magpaalam na pwede bang makausap si Bianca at nagulat nalang ako nang malaman kong nasa visayas siya at kasalukuyang nasa kritikal na kalagayan.

Kitang kita ko sa mukha niya na sobra na syang nag-aalala kaya I volunteered na pumunta dun. At andito na nga ako, binabantayan si Bianca. 

Ang ipinagtataka ko lang is bakit iniwan ni Yumi at nung kasama niya si Bianca dito na mag-isa. What were they thinking? Tsk. Mabuti nalang talaga na pinilit kong pumunta dito. 

I know that our relationship didn't end up well dahil sa kabila ng kabutihang ipinakita niya sakin ay nagawa ko parin syang saktan at ipagpalit sa iba. 

I was a jerk for not knowing better, for taking advantage of her. It's not like I want her back or anything, I just want to make sure na nasa mabuti siyang kalagayan. May pinagsamahan din naman kami.

Siguro paraan ko narin to para makabawi sa kanya.

Dear God, 

I know that I am a sinner but I'm begging you please, help her survive this battle. Pero kung buo na ang Inyong pasya at oras nya na talaga dahil ayaw nyo na siyang mahirapan pa, maiintindihan ko po yun. Buong puso ko po yung tatanggapin kung yun po ang ibig nyong mangyari. Alam ko pong wala akong karapatang magreklamo dahil hawak nyo po ang buhay ng bawat isa sa amin. Ang mahihiling ko lang po is please heal the hearts of those people who would suffer kapag nawala siya.

I said it that way because even if that's not what I wanted to happen, it means I still respect His decision. 

Naiiyak nalang ako. Although I said na mauunawaan ko pero sa kaloob-looban ko ansaket parin, sobrang sakit na parang hindi ko kayang makita ang hinaharap na walang Bianca Santos. 

Pero may kasabihan nga, "Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things."

But,

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.  

-Norman Cousins

..

Yumi's POV

Why does it feel like my love for her is also slowly dying?.

Yumi, ano ba?. Pigilan mo yan. Kung gising lang si Bianca ngayon di siya matutuwa. 

How could you fall for someone else while she's asleep?. Bianca is dying for goodness sake!. 

Wala akong ibang maramdaman ngayon, just guilt. I came here to save her from death but now I'm having second thoughts kung itutuloy ko ba to o hahayaan ko nalang syang mamatay. Yung isip ko sinasabi na kung mawawala man si B may Arki naman eh, pero ang puso ko sinasabing hindi tama yun.

G, I'm such a terrible person. It's like I proved Bianca's claim na lahat ng minamahal niya sinasaktan at niloloko lang siya. They always find someone else while they're with her.

Unfortunately, parang yun narin ang nangyayari. 

Nakaupo na ngayon ako dito sa bench sa labas habang pinapanood si Arki with the other guys playing basketball, just like my very own first love Ricci.

Naalala ko that when I started having feelings for Coleen, unti unti ko naring tinanggal ang kahit anong nagpapaalala sakin kay Ricci kasi alam ko naman na walang pag-asa. Imbes na ituon ko ang attention at pagmamahal ko sa taong impossible kong maabot, what if I focus on people na andito?. And that's what I did. Pero that didn't stopped me from loving the sport tho.

Biglang tumabi si Tita Cedes sakin at parang napansin nyang nakatingin lang ako kay Arki.

"I was about to give up on love when my husband cheated on me with a younger woman. I told Arki about it.." Napalingon ako sa kanya not knowing what to say. I mean she looks like she's about to cry.

"..pero sabi nya lang, Never give up on love. There's always someone who loves you, even if it's not the person you're hoping for. And that hit me hard because I know he's been in love with you for years. Ilang beses kong sinabi na kung ayaw wag nang pilitin, but he insisted to wait. Sabi nya, baka hindi pa panahon. Pero nitong mga nakaraang araw, I saw it. I saw how you look at him, it was different. But I don't think I could consider that as love."

"Ano pong ibig nyong sabihin?."

"You might get attracted to another person, but you won't simply fall in love if someone else is still holding a big part of you. You're confused because you're mistaking attraction with love Yumi."

"May pinagkaiba po ba yun?."

"Of course, because attraction is not love. Attraction always has a reason, but love should not have one. Attraction is a temporary love, but love is a permanent attraction. You're only attracted to him now because something changed in him which happens to align with your standards, and your love for that girl is nothing like it.  Because you didn't change for her, love changed you. I can see that because you're no longer the girl that Arki used to talk about." 

At dahil dun ay medyo napanatag na ang loob ko dahil mas nauunawaan ko na ang mga bagay bagay. That I really have nothing to worry about, I'm just overthinking. Tita Cedes really did saved the day, I just hope that she could save B as well.

7pm. Ginagawa nila and ritual for the second day. Tomorrow will be the last one.

 Pinapanghawakan ko parin yung idea that afterlife might not exist and the only time we have is right now, right here. Emily Dickinson said, "That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet."

If life is a movie, no one would watch it if it's too long. If life is a book no one would read it or remember it all. And that is why life is short.