Something I Would Have Never Seen

Handcuffs

A/N: So the way this is gonna work for story building is that the chapters are gonna go back and forth between the aformentioned year between OTTF and SWHNS and the present day. That way we can get along with the plot while still giving you all an understanding of Lucy's mindset. Okay: go!

Manhattan
SVU Interrogation Room
The morning after Casey and Lucy were rescued from the zoo

Lucy idly strung the chain holding her handcuffs together back and forth through the loop that attached them to the table in an effort to keep her body occupied with something other than shaking.

Though she was a frequent visitor of the precinct, this was the first time she'd been in one of the interrogation rooms since meeting the squad. At least Olivia had enough memory to put her in one with a window this time to avoid upsetting her claustrophobia.

Such things were the furthest from her mind now however. The cuffs had been put into place to keep her still and stop her from hurting herself. Admittedly, working herself up into a violent panic attack that had a good chance of bodily harm hadn't been that hard within the last twelve or so hours. So much had happened to her already fragile mental state that it was near impossible to figure out what was really real.

Thanks to the heavy sedatives still working their way through her veins however, her thoughts were now coming a lot slower.

The door opened and Olivia Benson stepped in slowly. To say the Sargent had been surprised when she received the call from the Philadelphia PD would be an understatement. She had of course been keeping a close eye on Lucy's case since her disappearance, but given that she was no longer a New York resident there wasn't much her and the squad could do. Learning she'd been found however, Olivia immediately dropped everything, putting Finn in charge and possibly breaking the speed limit on her way over.

Lucy had been transferred from the hospital in Philadelphia to one in New York when it became apparent that the Sargent -- and by proxy the rest of the SVU officers -- were the only thing that made her even remotely calm. She breathed clearer when Olivia held her hand, stopped shaking so violently when she heard Finn's voice checking up on her over the phone. Granted the sedatives had done their job, but they couldn't be a long term solution, so the doctors had jumped on the first sign of progress.

"Hey Lucy." Olivia said softly, approaching the table like she was approaching a wide eyed animal. "How're you feeling?"

"Dizzy..." Was the blonde's slow reply. "Everything went from being a rushing rollercoaster to molasses at the speed of light. Kinda threw everything off..."

"Okay, okay, why don't we start small?" Olivia took the seat opposite Lucy at the table. "Do you know today's date?"

Lucy couldn't help but roll her eyes at the standard PTSD check question. "August 14th, Wednesday 2016, Manhattan New York City." She rattled off, answering not only the question she'd been asked but the rest on the list as well. "I'm in my own head, Liv. Just.... processing."

A half smile ticked the corner of Olivia's mouth. "Fair enough. Can you tell me what's going through your head?"

Lucy took a long breath, releasing it slowly. "Is, Casey going to be okay, not only with what happened but the fact that she finally came clean about her uncle. Were there any signs of that I missed that I could have done more to help her. Did Claire and Marcia suffer when...." She swallowed audibly. "What...happened to Kevin and the others that they fell so far..." the metal of her handcuffs scrapped the table as she tried to pull her arms around herself, but the chain was too short for this. "Did...did I really see what I think I saw? I know I was out of it, but...."

"Well --" able to tell that her friend was working herself up again Olivia reached across the table to grasp Lucy's hand. "Casey's in good hands; the doctors got her fixed up and social services found her an emergency placement here in the city -- but she keeps asking about you." She squeezed Lucy's hand. "You and I both know that abusers and victims are very good at covering up these sort of things. Casey clearly considered you a safe space, so you did a lot for her without even knowing." Olivia sighed. "Claire and Marcia...you did what you could for them too. And you always knew your friends had a rough life. With how close you were, it probably got harder without you."

"You saw what she did. They should've been dead!" Lucy jerked her hand from Olivia's as she began to rock back and forth in her chair. "And they should've been dead at the zoo too! Casey's dad taught her to use a shotgun; she shot him in the chest twice, point blank range, he barely even flinched!"

"Easy Lucy." Olivia held up her hands in an attempt to be placating. "I know it might've looked that way, but you were in a very stressful situation and you were off your meds. It can be easy to get things mixed up."

"No!" Lucy shouted, jolting sharply and causing the handcuffs to cut into her wrists. "He was climbing the walls! He bent the gate bars like they were playdough!"

Olivia jumped up and rounded the table to grip Lucy by the shoulders. "He's not gonna stop! The Beast isn't gonna stop!"

It took a solid twenty minutes of Olivia trying to get Lucy to match her breathing before she calmed down. The Sargent decided not to continue questioning her for the time being.

It would be several hours before one of the officers needed to use the interrogation room for another case. Dominick Carisi was confused to find the pair of handcuffs attached to the table still locked but without anyone in them.