Apparently, I'm Dead

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Disclaimer: I only own the plot.  

SAMIRAH

Alex grumbles something about how annoying I am. I ignore her and brandish the piece of leaf that I got in Magnus's face. "We're done!" I cheer. "We've gotten all the ingredients! Now all we need to do is get back to the World Serpent."

Magnus smiles. "Let's head back to the boat." He turns around to call for Percy and his face softens. "Or maybe we should wait until Percy wakes up."

I peer over his shoulder. "Oh," I whisper.

Percy is asleep, his eyes closed. The crease that is normally between his eyebrows has softened, and his fingers don't twitch towards his pocket that holds his sword-pen with every sound that could be a possible threat. He looks so calm and peaceful. I guess I never noticed how on guard he is all the time. He looks younger, somehow. As if his responsibilities are no longer on his shoulders. I've never seen him asleep without any nightmares. His face is always contorted in strange positions of grief or guilt. I don't want to wake him up. He never gets to be this... I can't think of the right word. Maybe he never gets to act his age. He's only eighteen. Just barely allowed to vote, not allowed to legally drink or smoke yet.

Alex seems to feel the same way. "We can wait until he wakes up to go back to the Big Banana. It won't do any harm," she concurs with Magnus.

We sit down next to Percy. "He's so young," I say, putting my thoughts into words. "We're all so young."

Magnus nods. "I've thought that before, too." Magnus is even younger than Percy. Perpetually sixteen, probably never even got a driver's license. I saw him get into his Uncle Randolph car on the day of his death, and from the rants I heard from him about his uncle, if he could've driven his own car he would've. He was homeless and lived under a bridge, surviving, but never getting to live before he died. A sixteen year old should not be fighting in wars that determine the fate of the world.

And Alex. Also sixteen, but acts so much older. Kicked out of her home by her father for being genderfluid after her grandfather's death. I don't know what she went through on the streets, but it must have been something like Magnus's experience. And when she died she thought she would be stuck as one gender forever, then was forced into a war against her own mother.

And me, I guess. But at least I'm still alive.

"What do we really know about Percy?" Alex asks, a calculating look on her face. "I was just thinking that we don't know much. Like his favorite color, or his Harry Potter house." Alex has trust issues, which she has reason for. Until Valhalla, I don't think anyone gave her unconditional love.

I can see that Magnus's knee jerk reaction is to reject Alex's suspicions of Percy. Then he thinks of a way to convince her of his way of thinking. "Well," Magnus says, "We do know- or at least I know that he loves his mother. He went on a quest to save her."

I begin to speak, chewing on my words before saying them to make sure they're what I want them to be. "I don't think that we need to know him all that well." Alex sends me a sharp, questioning look. I continue, "What we do know about him is all very good. Do we know anything that is untrustworthy about him?"

Alex sputters. "He can control people's blood!"

"He can," I concede, "but he doesn't. To me, that just makes him more trustworthy. To be able to control people but also smart enough to resist the temptation to do so? That takes both a lot of willpower and a lot of goodness."

"...Okay, fair," Alex says, inclining her- no, his, I can tell by the shift in his voice- head. "It's just..." His face screws up in frustration, trying to tell us his doubts. But with every second he doesn't speak, his eyes grow more confused.

"What's wrong?" Magnus and I ask at the same time. "Are you okay?" I continue, after Magnus goes silent.

Alex shakes his head. "I- I don't know why I was saying that. I do trust Percy, but it was like someone else was..." Something dawns on him as he trails off.

I catch onto what he's saying. "Like someone else was thinking for you?"

"Exactly like that," Alex confirms, anger growing in his eyes.

Magnus cuts into our conversation. "Do you think it was... Loki?" he whispers.

Alex's eyes narrow. "That's definitely what I think. Gods, if I didn't hate my mother before, I hate her even more now."

"Wait!" Magnus cries. I jerk and look at him. "Shouldn't we look for Loki?"

I exchange looks with Alex and shake my head. "No. He'll already be gone. He would have left as soon as Alex realized he was being manipulated."

Magnus looks at Alex, probably to confirm my pronoun change. "Okay. Then... we're just waiting here until Percy wakes up?"

"Nah," Percy's voice mumbles. "I'm awake now." His eyes flutter open, the green popping against the black of his eyelashes. "Where're we going?"

"Back to the boat," Magnus answers. "We got the last ingredient."

"But forget that!" Alex says, "Are you alright? Did Ratatosk do anything to you?"

Something dark flashes in Percy's eyes. He barks out a laugh. "I'm fine."

"No, you are definitely not," Alex decides. "What happened?"

"It was nothing. I'm fine." Percy states.

I can tell he's lying. Once I accepted that I was a child of Loki and made it my own, like Alex did, I was able to tell when someone's lying to me.

"Percy," Magnus and I say at the same time. "What is it?"

"It was just some-some insults. It's nothing I can't handle."

"You're lying again," Alex sighs.

"Just drop it, okay?" Percy snaps.

Silence falls. Percy doesn't get mad at his friends. He certainly doesn't yell at them. He is definitely not fine.

"Percy," Magnus whispers, "we're your friends. You can trust us, okay? Just- just tell us what's wrong."

Percy lets his face fall into his hands. A muffled sob comes out of his mouth. "I just want to go home. I just-"

And then he breaks down crying.

Thanks,

ATOTALMUSICALNERD