We had been in my college dorm room, smoking and hanging out. My roommate was away for the weekend so it was just us, not that she would have cared anyways. We finished the joint so I put the remainder of it in the ashtray by my bed. I remember we both just looked at each other and burst out laughing. "What are you laughing at?" Billie asked in between wheezes. "I don't know, I just looked at you homie," I responded. We both took a couple breaths and looked at eachother. "Hey I've been meaning to talk to you about something," she started, and I already knew what was coming. We've had this conversation before; "I know you really like me and I've been thinking about it but" is how it usually went. I'm bisexual meaning that I can find almost anyone attractive and catch feelings for them but Billie was different. Every other relationship I've had didn't end well, I would either stop talking to them or it would end as soon as it began. "Fever are you listening?" I look at her. "haha yea sorry, I zoned out again." The look in her eyes says she's got a lot on her mind. "I've been thinking a lot recently, and I think I might like you too but I'm still unsure of my sexuality. I don't want to make a move on anything because I don't want to hurt you, and you know my family wouldn't accept me not being straight. I'm sorry, but I thought you should know," She looks away. "Its ok, I don't mind. I know how your family is and I understand you wanting to wait, but I'll always be here for you regardless of if we're together or not." We sit in silence for a while, watching videos on our phones. Suddenly I have an urge. I don't know why, maybe it's me being high, maybe it's just me being head over heels for this girl, but I sit up, pull her chin to me and kiss her. She doesn't fight it, but I can't tell if she enjoyed it or not. I try to pull away to give her some space after it, but she keeps going. Our lips still touching, we fall onto each other. We kiss for a few minutes, my hearts racing. "This is the love of my life," I think, "I can't believe this is happening." She stops, pulls away from me and just lays there. For what felt like hours, we're just laying on my bed, her on my left arm. She sits off all of a sudden and starts putting on her shoes. "Where are you going?" I ask. Without looking at me she says "I'm going home." "you want a ride?" I ask, unsure of why she's in such a rush. "No I'm ok, I'll text you later or something" and she's out the door. "What's wrong?" I call after her, but she doesn't respond. I lay back down and think about everything that just happened.
