broken

twelve

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tw; homophobia (f slur at end)

( George's pov )

I rubbed my eyes, once again, trying to rid of all the drowsiness that resided inside of me. Uncertain feelings rose in my chest, I didn't know what to feel. My mind kept running back to Dream, then to the hospital, then to my father's words. He was right about me being fat, was he right about gay people being wrong?

No, surely not. Right?

I shook my head and made my way to the bathroom. The mirror lay in front of me, almost taunting me. Instinctively, I looked away, getting undressed and making my way into the shower. The warm water saturated my skin, I let it soak up all of the liquid.

I fell to the ground, sitting on the shower floor and letting my head lean back until it hit the wall. It felt calming, in a way. I didn't have to think about any of it. I didn't have to think about life. I was in my own world- but good things always come to an end.

"George Henry Davidson! If you do not get out of the shower right now and stop wasting the warm water you will not like the consequence!"

Groaning and internally cursing my mother for disturbing my peace, I let my legs carry me upwards, standing and drying myself off. Lazily, i dragged myself to my bedroom staring at the clothes on the floor.

Dream's hoodie.

Maybe I felt lonely, but I felt compelled to put it on, it was warm. It was soft on my skin and the familiar smell made a subconscious smile grow onto my face.

Despite everything, I still missed him. He was my friend, my best friend.

I decided to put my shoes on too, I wanted to get out of the house for a while, I needed to breathe. I felt cramped in the house, it was bigger than my apartment, yet it felt like the walls were closing in on me. Taunting me, in a sense.

"I'm going for a walk, bye."

I didn't even get the smallest part of acknowledgement after the words escaped my mouth, possible a dirty stare. Scoffing, I left the hell-hole of a house.

I let out a sigh I didn't even realise I was holding.

Walking down the pavements, I plugged in my earphones, switching my phone on for the first time since before the hospital. I didn't bother checking notifications, I could check later. It's not like anyone would message me anyways.

Not anyone important.

Clicking on the spotify app, I let the music drown out my thoughts.

i'm heading straight for the floor
the alcohols served its tour
and its headed straight for my skin
leaving me daft and dim

It was a familiar song, one I liked. I don't know how, but I feel like I can relate to this song, in a way. It's hard to understand, it feels like this song was made for me.

i've got this shake in my leg
shaking the thoughts from my head
but who put these waves at the door
i crack and out i pour

Exhaling, I admired my surroundings, chirping birds stood stand-still in trees, trees with long roots which stretched far and tall bark holding themselves up.

im mr loverman
and i miss lover, man
im mr loverman
oh, and i miss my lover, man.

I miss someone, I couldn't pinpoint who but I had a feeling in my chest. Maybe in my heart.

I took the headphones off slowly, deciding to venture inside a cafeteria. It was small and quaint, yet large enough to have a few seating areas. I smiled at the look of it and sat down on a small table.

After a few minutes of waiting, a girl approached me. They were pretty.

They had short, dark brown hair and pale skin, they were short. Maybe shorter than me- I know Dream would've made a joke about my height by now. They were gorgeous nonetheless.

The way they smiled reminded me of the way Dream smiled, maybe I preferred Dream's smile. They laughed in giggles. I didn't laugh at their laugh like I laughed at Dream's.

My mind subconsciously compared the two- I liked Dream better than her. Yet I didn't know her, maybe that could change.

"Hey, my names Maia! I'm your waiter for today."

Maia.

It was a pretty name.

"Hi Maia, I'm George."

They smiled as i said my name.

"I like your name."

"I like yours too."

I ordered a cup of tea, nothing fancy, something refreshing. My mind was full of their image.

"Oh by the way, what pronouns do you go by?"

They looked at me funny, I thought I was being kind.

"Oh, haha, she/her. Guessing you go he/him because you're a boy...right?"

"Oh. Yeah, I guess."

It was a strange encounter, but I was intrigued.

"Would it be possible to have your number."

She nodded and we exchanged numbers. I was excited, this could be a way to prove to my parents that I was normal. I fit in.

I could finally make them happy, I could finally be what they wanted, make them proud.

Waltzing my way home, I danced on the pavements, beaming.

Maia💕

Hey George!

hi maia :]

😂😂Whats with the face ?

oh hshsjshs i like it

Oh Lol.
I need to go finish my shift.
Bye George😄

bye maia

She texted funny. Dream didn't text like that. He wasn't dry, he used lowercase and used sarcastic emojis. It was different, weird, I guess.

Shrugging it off, I decided to stroll inside of the house, finally feeling some sort of relief as to making my parents happy.

"I met a girl at the cafe today."

I spoke nervously, uncertain. Would my mother be proud? Happy? Mad?

The mother I once hated pulled me into a hug, embracing me. Something she hadn't done in years. My eyes filled with tears, the last person who hugged me like this was Dream.

I had to do this for my mother. I smiled.

"Thank God you aren't one of those f*gs."

Maybe I wasn't.