ℝ𝔸𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ𝔸𝕃 ➵ o. kenobi {my only hope; book 1}

【 THIRTEEN 】

✧ Warning: Dark Themes ✧

     ᴀꜱ ꜱᴏᴏɴ ᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀɴᴅꜱᴛᴏʀᴍ ʜᴀᴅ ʙʟᴏᴡɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀ, not wanting to waste any time, Qui-Gon was ready to go immediately. He gathered our group and we were off to Watto's Junkshop again, ready to enter Anakin in the race and make our bet. Padmé was tense for the entire trip, and I was surprised she was able to keep her feelings in for as long as she did. We'd made it all the way to the plaza again before she spoke up, unable to keep the sound of opposition out of her voice. "Are you sure about this?" She asked, causing Qui-Gon to hesitate at the entrance. "Trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know? The queen will not approve."

    Qui-Gon smiled. "The queen doesn't need to know."

     I wanted to laugh at the irony, but it seemed like a bad time. Besides, Padmé seemed to be agonizing over not being able to say anything, and I didn't want to make her frustration worse. As Qui-Gon turned to go back into the shop, Padmé stared after him in disapproval. "Well, I don't approve." She sank into an outdoor seat to wait in frustration, letting Qui-Gon go in alone. I joined her, taking up a spot next to hers, glancing over at her, waiting for her to spill. She was silent for a couple of moments, but finally exploded. "Who does he think he is? He's putting us in danger--all of us."

     I sighed. "Padmé, he's just doing what he thinks is best."

     "And what you think is best!" Padmé skyrocketed to her feet, pointing her finger at me. "I saw you two at the table, using your stupid Jedi powers to communicate. I saw you nod at him. How could you do this to me... to Naboo?"

     Getting defensive now, I stood as well. "This is our only chance, Padmé. We had no other choice!"

     "We." She scoffed, taking a step away from me. "I used to think that was you and me. We were a team, once. Now you'd rather side with them." She began to jog off.

     "Padmé-"

     "Just... leave me alone."

     She was out of my sight before I could say another word.

     I collapsed into the seat she'd been sitting in, putting my head in my hands. "R2, follow her, will you?" I murmured to the droid. He beeped in response, and began to roll off, keenly following my sister. I knew she was mad, but I still didn't want her roaming the spaceport alone. I couldn't go... she needed time to cool off. And I most definitely did not trust Jar Jar to keep her out of trouble. So the droid was my best bet, as meek as that sounded.

     I didn't look up until I couldn't hear the mechanical whir of R2's wheels anymore. When I finally did, I had to blink to adjust to the sudden bright light... then I kicked the sand. The particles flew in every direction, not one landing in the same place. That was how my life felt in that moment--getting torn in every direction. There was my dedication to training to worry about. Then my strange feeling of attachment to Obi-Wan pulling me in another direction. There was my strange connection to the Alter side of the Force... the ability that had the potential to do both exorbitant good and radical bad. And finally, the weight of Kera's lie was still pressing on me... a constant ache in the back of my mind that reminded me my mentor wasn't who I thought she was. And even when I'd thought I'd always have Padmé to rely on... that wasn't even a reality anymore, either. She was right. We were on different paths. We weren't the same people anymore... we were hardly even sisters.

     The weight of all of my burdens were pulling on me just like the sand, tearing me apart and throwing me in every direction possible, testing me to see if I could make it back to the person I used to be.