meant to be || a cm fanfic

1. The Audition

December 10, 2017

I had been sitting in the waiting room for almost 2 hours now, as other people were called one by one. It would be my turn anytime now. I carefully read over the page and rehearsed them once again, making sure I wasn't missing out on anything.

My nerves were getting to me, I saw my hands shaking a bit as I folded the paper once again and put it back in the pocket of my overcoat, for what felt like the hundredth time. 'It's okay. You'll be okay. You've worked for this.' I told myself.

What's the worst that could happen anyway? I would not get the part and go back to working at the bookstore. Continue living in my small apartment and give more auditions. I mean that's not too bad.

Shit. What if I trip and fall over as I enter the room. What if my nerves get to me and I fumble over my words.. A lot could happen and I would end up embarrassing myself. I did a little breathing exercise. As I waited for my name to be called, and just then I heard "Emilia parker, please come on in. "

I got up from my seat and walked over to the door that had a 'auditions' seal taped on it.

I gently opened it and took in the details of the room. There were only three people seated on sofa. One of them was a woman, and two men. One of the men looked very familiar.. 'Omg that is Cillian Murphy. He's going to watch me audition. '

The other man was probably the casting director. "Emilia? " He asked.

"That's me, yes. " I replied.

"Alright, start whenever you're ready. "
Cillian watched me intently as I closed my eyes for a second and opened them again

I took a deep breadth. Then started my act.
"Well I don't know what you want from me then.. I mean I've given you everything. I've given you time, and love and..everything but you're just too far up in the air you barely realize anything. Frankly,.. I can't do it anymore. I can't deal with your shit anymore I've had enough. We're over. I have been there for you since the beginning. I believed in you and your dreams and this is what you repay me with, a ticket to back home. I knew I should have never believed you.. My mum always told me not to. But I was still there. She told me you would never be faithful to me, you were always surrounded by other women but I still believed in you. I kept smiling when I saw you flirt and touch other women even though it burned me. I don't know anymore. I guess.. we just weren't ment to be. Fuck I wasn't meant to be with someone like you. I deserve better and it took me a while to realize this but yeah, we're fucking over. You understand? We're over"

As I came back to reality I looked at the casting director, he had a smile on his face, he was almost chuckling. I was immediately embarrassed. I could suddenly feel the heat on my face. Him and Cillian looked at each other, almost understandingly. Then he looked at me and said, "Alright you may leave. You'll find out the results by next week Thursday." His hand gestured to the door on the other side of the room

"Okay. Thank you." I said and left. I found myself in the parking lot of the complex.

I walked on the sidewalk, thinking about my audition. I had rehearsed so much, damn I almost thought I was going to get the part but now I wasn't sure. I mean, I can't possibly judge my own performance. I could only hope for the best.

I stopped to check my phone. I had 2 messages from my best friend, Leah.

Leah:
Hey babe how did it go? Come over for dinner tonight. Everyone will be there.
Me:
Hey it went alright. Dinner sounds nice. I'll tell you all about it then.

Within 15 minutes I had reached the 'Brenda's bookstore' the one that I worked in. As soon as I entered, Tom looked up from his book and asked "Hey, how did it go? ".

Tom was the manager of the bookstore. He was 77 years old. Him and his wife had opened it when they were in their early early twenties however she died from cancer a few years ago. Tom decided to change the name of the store to his wife's name just as a little tribute to her. Their relationship was so beautiful. It was really sad though what happened.

"I mean it went okay, I'm not sure though. " I replied.

"Oh what happened ?"

"Nothing, the audition went okay but I just couldn't figure out if they liked it or not. "

"It's okay Emilia, you tried. The rest is up to them. Anyway, I know you must've been one of the best." He said.

"I don't know Tom, but thanks that really means something."

"It's okay hun. I'm leaving the keys on the counter. When you leave , lock the store."

"Alright." I replied.

He was old and always left at around this time. I would take care of the shop until 8 pm and then head home.

Until 8 pm I had attended to a few customers. It was unlikely though, considering Christmas was very near, books made really nice presents. I was thinking of buying one for my mum.

***
Author's note:
Hey thank you so much for reading.
I'm a new writer so it would be amazing if I could get a little feedback. Any criticism will be accepted.

Also, I just want to let you know that the story will take its time to develop a proper relationship between the characters. It won't happen immediately. I'm sorry for having less of Cillian till now, but it'll get better I promise.

Thanks.