meant to be || a cm fanfic

5.Friends?

January 8, 2018.

Cillian and I had decided to go to a restaurant for lunch, he told me he would pick me up from my place. I was currently in my room, getting dressed. It was really cold today so I decided to wear a simple black jeans and plain black t shirt. I pulled my cardigan as well as my coat on top of it.

A little makeup, and I was all set. I didn't know if I was nervous or whatever, I just had a really uneasy feeling. That day I had found out about his divorce and he had found out about my mother. Maybe in terms of our lives, we were on the same page, lonely and in search of someone.

Not that I thought this was a date. It wasn't.

Was it?

Yeah sure, it was purely professional. I think he made that pretty clear. We were meeting up so we could work well together. It was all about the film. I saw the time and quickly put on my shoes.

"I'll be back Nobi." I said to my cat. He looked unbothered as he looked up and went back to licking himself. Sometimes I thought he liked it much better when I was at work or somewhere else. Well that's just cats in general I guess.

Cillian would be here any moment now. He had told me to wait for him in the driveway,  so I locked up my apartment and went down stairs.

Just 2 minutes later, I saw his black Audi enter. He stopped in front of me and I got inside. "Hey, how're you doing? You look beautiful." He asked as he pulled me in for a hug.

"I'm alright. You don't look bad yourself Cillian." I said, blushing a bit. 'How do I tell him he's beautiful without sounding like a creep?'

"Great. Let's go shall we?" We drove to the restaurant. It wasn't far away, and very familiar too. It was the place I used to work at, before I worked at the bookstore.

"Hey.. um that's where we're going?" I asked as we started to get into the driveway, our eyes meeting at the rearview mirror.

"Yeah that's the place I told you about, they have the best Mexican food." He said, "I came here last month with my friends. I think you'll like it."

"I don't know Cillian.. Can we go somewhere else? I'm so sorry I know the place is amazing I just.. I have a kind of history.." I told him and he immediately looked worried, "Yeah sure, we could go somewhere else if you're uncomfortable here." He said.

We started to pull out of the driveway. "I'm really sorry.. You obviously reserved seats here. But I really can't go in."

"It's alright, love I understand. I should've told you before. But you need to tell me why that is.. I mean maybe when you're comfortable telling me. Or not. It's entirely up to you. " He said, looking at me.

"I used to work here.. before I worked at the store. I guess I'll tell you the rest later on. " I said, looking out the window. He nodded and we drove up to another restaurant.

Cillian asked the waiter for a table, and he immediately took us to a vacant one. We took our seats and were handed the menu cards. We ordered our food and waited for it.

"So.. Um how was everything.. In Ireland I mean. " I asked.

"It went really good. The boys loved those books. They would've been so much happier to get a play station but.. Yeah." He said with a little laugh.

"That's good to hear. " I chuckled.
Just then, a girl came up to Cillian and asked for an autograph. She was so nervous but he was really nice to her and quickly gave it to her.

"That must be normal for you. Getting recognized." I said when she went away.

"Yeah but I think it's very controlled, with me. Mostly I can go anywhere without having to worry about paparazzi and fans. I'm sure after people find out how amazing you are you'll be surrounded." He remarked, his lips curling up into a smile.

"You're kind." I said, blushing.

"How's your mum?" He asked.

"She's okay. She's alright. " I nodded. "Much better. I really hope she beats it. When I start getting paid I'll take her to a better hospital." I said.

"Are you paying for her treatment yourself? If you ever need any help, I told you you can call me anytime. " He assured me.

"No well my dad does. " I said.

"Your dad? " He asked.

"Yeah.. Well he left us when I was young, and now he's quite big in the business world. I don't know if you've heard of him.. Steven Williams. " I said. I stopped, as the waiter arrived with our food and kept it on the table.

"Oh.. Yeah I've heard of him." He said, with almost a sense of realization.

"Yeah well he has another family now and he's doing pretty well. When my mother got diagnosed I found a way to contact him. I wanted him to pay for her treatment, since he had failed to raise me anyway." I said. "But he refused to pay anything more than what would get her in a cheap hospital." I explained.

"I'm really sorry Emilia. You're so strong.. I can't imagine what you've been through. And that's why you didn't go to drama school. I think you're gonna make it Emilia. You're really good. You can reach heights in the entertainment industry." He said.

"That's very kind of you Cillian."

"I can help you out with anything you need, you just need to--" He started but I cut him off. "I know Cillian. You're there for me. But I feel like I wanna do this on my own. I want to build my life and career by myself. " I assured him.

"I understand. And I really hope you know you can do it. I'm not being nice, I really think you have potential." He remarked.

I smiled at him.

" You're so good to me."I said softly, feeling myself tear up a little. He gently took my hand that was placed on the table, as I readjusted myself. I looked at the ceiling, trying not to cry but the lump in my throat just got heavier.

" Thank you. " I whispered.

"It's alright. You can cry. " He said, looking into my eyes.

***

After we were done with lunch, we went around the park for a walk. Turns out he had a cat too, back home. We found out so many things about our families. We discussed our characters in the film and he told me how he was going to prepare for his role.

Then he dropped me home. "Today was really good. I mean it. " I said. "Yeah I think so too. " He smiled.

"Well then, I guess we'll meet in Germany now, where we're filming. " He said. "Yeah. I'm really looking forward to it." I said.

"Me too." He said. He leaned in for a hug and I gently pecked his cheek.

"Thank you for today. " I whispered.

"You're welcome." He whispered and looked deep into my eyes, and then my lips.

This was our moment.

I felt him leaning in.. But i freaked out. 'I can't kiss him he's like 15 years older than me and he's going to be my costar. I quickly turned and got out of the car. I waved at him, "Bye!" and smiled. He smiled back ,he didn't look disappointed, "Bye, love." and drove away. I watched as his car sped out.

Why do I have to be so awkward dammit. We just had the most amazing day and I had to go ahead and do that.

I went upstairs to my room. My mind was still going back to what had happened in the car. I needed to talk to someone, so I picked up my phone to call Leah. But I saw there were already two messages from her.  I had totally forgotten about everything else while I was with him.

Leah:
Hey, girl how's it going? Are his eyes really that blue? You need to tell me everything when you get back.

Leah:
Hey I'm coming over for dinner. We'll order pizza.

The second one was fairy recent.

Me:
Hey I just got home. It was amazing girl I really need to talk to you. Come over as soon as your shift is over.

After that I cleaned my room a little, and slept through the day. It was my first day off in a while.