♡ N i a l l H o r a n I m a g i n e s ♡

P a n i c a t t a c k

A/N: ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Hey, just wanted to add a quick trigger warning, this imagine does talk about anxiety/panic attacks so please don't read if this is triggering to you! ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Y / N ' s P O V :

"Mmmnjsjhfjm" I groaned, rolling over to hit the button that would stop the infuriating noise that was emitting from the small rectangular device on my bedside table. I rolled back over until my wandering hands found my boyfriend, I snuggled closer into him, using one hand to hold onto him while the other was used to rub the sleep from my eyes in an attempt to wake myself up.

"Ni" I said, now using the hand that was rubbing the sleep from my eyes to now prop myself up, the other still resting on him. Niall made no noise or recognition that he heard me.

"Ni" I tried again, shaking him a bit now.

"Mdajgsdjamm" he mumbled in response, pulling me down onto him so I was lying flat on his chest.

"We need to get up now or we'll be late for lunch," I said, whispering as I was still tired myself.

"Can we just stay here?" he asked, the Irish accent falling from his lips stronger this hour in the morning when he had just woken up.

"No, we promised Deo and his new girlfriend that we would go Ni."

"I know, I jus' want to stay here and cuddle ya though"

"Me too, but we promised we would go."

"I know, I know, jus' wanna stay here a minute longer, holding ma girl."

"Ok, but only one more minute, then we really need to start getting ready."

"Jus' shut up and cuddle me" he said, nestling his head into my shoulder. After another minute I pulled away from Niall's grip and got up, grabbing a hold of his arm and trying to pull him up with me.

"Time to get up now babe"

"No"

"Yes"

"Fine. I'm going to go shower" he said, giving up on the possibility of more sleep and sitting up to give me a kiss. While Niall was showering and getting ready, I made the bed and made a smoothie for both Niall and I to have for breakfast as we were going out to lunch pretty soon. When Niall came out of the shower and went into the closet to get dressed, I went into the shower, switching with him. Once we were both ready, we went to the kitchen to have our smoothie before heading off to the restaurant where we would meet Niall's cousin and his new girlfriend. Once we arrived, I saw the familiar cameras standing outside ready to take pictures of Niall. I hated the paparazzi. Most times we were out and they came neer, I went into a panic attack.

"Ni" I said, pointing to the paparazzi stationed outside.

"I know petal, but I've got ya, I won't let t'em hurt you."

"I know, I still panic though"
"I know ya do" Niall said, placing an affectionate kiss on my hand. Niall parked the car and we got out. As soon as we got out, people with cameras started to swarm us, eager to get pictures of Niall Horan and his girlfriend. I could feel my breathing beginning to get out of control like it did whenever I was about to go into a panic attack. I wiggled my fingers and toes, like my therapist taught me, helping me ground myself and focus on something else. Soom we were walking through the door and I heard Niall telling the waiter we had a reservation for 4 under his name. I was over for now

L a t e r

After we finished lunch and paid for the bill, we went back out the front door which we came in to go to our car, agreeing that we would meet back at the apartment that Niall and I shared to watch a movie. Once again we were met with the same flashing cameras and the people who owned them who greeted us on our way in. Now there were more though. More pushing and shoving, more yelling out random questions and less space around us. I could feel myself beginning to lose control again. I tried wiggling my fingers and my toes, just like my therapist told me, but it didn't work. My breathing was going too quickly to slow down now. I stopped walking and just stood still in the middle of the crowd of people; all logic leaving my brain as more and more panic settled in. Niall had now noticed that I was no longer moving behind him and had let go of his hand. He had turned around to see me standing still (1 hand on my chest the other shaking beside me as I tried to calm myself down), surrounded by lots of people and flashing cameras.

"Go ahead, we'll meet you back at the apartment" he said to Deo as he came around to me.

"You need to breathe." he said, wrapping his arms around me to shield me from the outside. I tried to take a breath but no air came in.

"No here" I managed to get out, knowing full well that I'd never be able to calm down like this, surrounded by lots of people.

"OK petal, we need to get back to the car. Focus on me and ma voice and we'll walk slowly OK?" I nodded not having the mental ability to get out any words. We slowly started to head back over to Niall's car.

"Jus' focus on ma voice petal" Niall kept repeating as we made it closer and closer to the car. Soon we got there and Niall escorted me to the passenger seat before helping me get in and buckling up my seatbelt. He then went around to his side. And took my hand in his.

"Lets try 5,4,3,2,1 OK?" I nodded in response, still not being able to fully formulate words let alone a sentence. "OK what are 5 things you see?" Niall asked, rubbing small circles over my hand.

"The seat belt, windshield wiper, steering wheel, dashboard and your shoes." I said, taking considerable sized gaps in between each word.

"Good, 4 things you can reach out and touch? Touch them as you say them."
"The seat, the glass, your arm and my phone." I said, reaching out to each of the items when I called them out.

"3 things you can hear?"

"The engine, people talking outside and your voice." My breathing had come down considerably now and all I was focussing on was Niall's voice and finding everything he asked.

"2 things you can smell."

"The open pack of skittles in the cup holder and your cologne."

"Lastly, 1 thing you can taste?"

"My gum."
"Now breathe in." Niall said, signalling by bringing both his hands up. I took a deep breathe in, closing my eyes and holding it as I knew that Niall would ask me to breathe out soon.

"And out." he said, lowering his hands to show breathing out. I let out the breath and opened my eyes to meet Niall's concerned face.

"Better?" he asked

"Yes, Thanks Ni, I'm sorry too."

"No problem and don't apologise love, you know it's not your fault.

"I know," I said looking at my hands neatly placed in my lap. I felt Niall's calloused fingers bring my chin up so my eyes once again met his.

"It's not your fault. I need you to stop blaming yourself everytime this happens petal. You can't control it. You NEVER need to apologise for panic attacks OK?"

"OK" I said, looking at him and meaning it. I leant closer into him so our lips touched briefly before I broke the kiss off.
"I love you Ni"

"I love you too petal, now what do you say we go home and watch a movie?" 

A/n: helloooooo hope you all had a good week 😊 I get panic attacks lots and would LOVE if I had Niall to help me through them ❤️❤️ Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Don't forget you can request ❤️❤️ Have a good week!