why do I love you?

day 1

My alarm clock just won't shut up. it does the same sound over and over and over again. I can't stand it. I walk to my bathroom and start my skin routine so maybe Iwa-chan can stop calling me ugly. I spend two hours a day trying to look perfect for him. my hair takes up the most time. and then there is my body that I work on my abs. just for him. I walk down stairs and make myself some avacado toast for nutrience. I hate avacado. it tastes alright but the texture feels like baby food down my throat and ruins the taste completely. I take a deep breathe and smile on my way outside to see my parents car gone again. I haven't seen them in months. their on some kind of vacation or something. I see the most beloved iwa chan which fixs my mood immediately. "Hey Iwa chan!" I say as happy as I can seem. "Hey crappykawa" I hate that nickname. just proves how much of a peice of shit I am. "I'm not crappy. i'm beautiful." I say pouting. but i'm only pouting because I know he's right about me. his scoff proving my point exactly. I try my hardest not to slip out a tear and distract myself by getting some milk bread and onigiri at the small store.

"Took you long enough" he sneers. it was three minutes iwa chan. "Whatever." I say on my way to school. I leave to my locker in the gym and slowly take off my shirt. I watch iwaizumi in the mirror. his perfectly toned body is moving so sexily. I stop being dramatic and put my shorts on quickly.

the whole time I was being insulted by my team. smile. just keep smiling. its almost over. the bell rang telling ud there is twenty minutes until first period. "Okay good job today guys study hard yes?" I ask only getting mummbles in return. I comb my damp hair and steal glances at Iwachan. "Oi drama king lets go!" I need time to let out my feelings but not in front of him. he will make me feel horrible. "no, you go ahead. I need a second over here." he leaves without another word with mad dog. yabaha comes over and gives me a hug. "Oikawa. are you okay?" he asks genuinly concerned. I break at that point telling him everything that happened and how iv'e been feeling. I told him how i'm neglected by my parents and only want to be loved. Yahaba starts tearing up too. "I'm sorry we said those mean things. we don't mean it!" I smile at him reassuring him it's okay. "Yahaba you are by far my most favorite person on this team. besides you hardly said anything." "EXACTLY. I didn't say anything to stop it. I'm sorry." I hug him as he's crying into my shirt. "Your fine. besides you just made it up by lettiing me talk to you about it. but keeping this between us will be a favor." He sniffed and nodded. "Not even kyoutani can know?" He asked wondering if he can tell his boyfriend. "Not even Iwaizumi." I tell him. his eyes snap up in seriousness. "That seriouse? don't you think it would be better to ask him to stop making you feel like crap?" I shook my head in disagreement. "I only trust you with these feelings." I smile at him. the five minute bell rung and we stand up to go to class. "We'll talk later, yes?" i ask. he nods his head. it was a relief talking to somebody about it. I put foundation on my eyes to make it seem like I was fine and didn't just have a meltdown.

the whole day Iwa's been staring at me as if i'm a puzzle he can't figure out. I ignored him and hardly talked to him when we walked together. we met up with our teams and slowly drifted to other groups. he was with makki and matssun while I was with our second years. we waited five minutes for everyone to show up. most of the guys show up and we began to practice when the last two first years come out in a hurry. "work on your recieves until we are ready to do a six on six." I informed them. they nod and recieve the other's balls. I continue to work with Iwa chan and it slipped my grasp and I fell right on my face. "Oi! what the hell was that? it was perfect!" Makki and mattsun were laughing too much for my liking. blood dripped from my nose. "lets take a five minute break guys." I yell jogging to the bathroom. two minutes later it stopped bleading as I came back . thirty minutes later practice ended as we left to go home. yahaba left with us because he's having a sleepover with me. mad dog and iwachan are joining in too but mostly there to keep us from doing something stupid. or atleast thats what they say.