The Story of Regulus Black - Years 1-4

XCIX. Days Gone By

Chapter Notes: very long chapter (over 9k words)!!
CW: brief mention of suicidal thoughts

Regulus did not want to let go. He didn't want to release Christian and feel the other boy's arms leave him.

He pressed his nose against the fabric of Christian's soft jumper and breathed in his scent - the scent that Regulus had been missing since the summer. It was still there, and it was nice, and it alleviated Regulus's nerves to know that he was there. The tightness of Christian's grip around his waist gave Regulus such a safe feeling, and he did not want to let go.

Christian let go - he was always the first to let go.

He slowly pulled out of the embrace, and Regulus had no choice but to lift his face from Christian's shoulder and hope that no tears had escaped his eyes. Christian slid his hands from around Regulus's waist up to his shoulders, and he looked him over with a twinkle in his eye that Regulus had missed oh-so-much.

However, this twinkle was shrouded by concern when he saw the state of Regulus. The most noticeable thing, of course, was still his significant weight loss. Christian frowned and furrowed his brow ever so slightly as his eyes slowly trailed up to Regulus's sunken-in and pale-looking face. His eyes had lost the blue almost as soon as it had returned, and there was a sadness that had found a home there - a sadness that Christian desperately wished that he could get rid of.

"Bonjour, mon étoile," Christian said, his voice a whisper with a lilt of enthusiasm.

Regulus smiled a bit, and he sniffed back the snot that was threatening his nose. "Hullo," he replied.

A soft smile came onto Christian's face. But, everything about Christian's face was soft, Regulus noticed. He had a sharp jawline and cheekbones that contrasted nicely with the other features of his face. But, his face just had such a soft appearance to it - he looked so welcoming and so warm, and so safe. The heavy freckles, and the soft angle that his eyebrows naturally sat at, the warmth in his deep brown eyes, the natural curve to his lips that gave him the appearance that he was always smiling.

Regulus's heart started beating just a little bit faster, and he felt a warmth spread throughout his chest. He could feel his heartbeat in his biceps, which was quite an odd feeling. He wondered if - if he took off his jacket to look - he would see his muscles beating with the rhythm of his heart.

Christian had to fight the urge to trail his hands from Regulus's shoulder to his cheeks; to hold his face gently and plant kiss after kiss on his soft, pink lips; to tangle his fingers in the silky black curls which adorned Regulus's head. Regulus was fighting a very similar urge, and they settled with just staring, boring into the eyes of the other as though it were enough. Because, right now, it was enough.

"How have you been?" Christian finally asked, hesitantly dropping his hands away from Regulus's shoulders.

Regulus nodded his head slowly. "Good. How are you?" He knew that it was a lie, and he knew that Christian knew, as well, just by the flicker of acknowledgment in his eyes. But, he didn't comment - not right now.

"I have been doing very well," Christian said, and Regulus could tell that he was telling the truth.

They were quiet, the noises that filled the busy pub drowned out by the connection that was whirring between them. Finally, however, Regulus looked away. He knew that - if he were to keep staring into the beautiful brown eyes of Christian Thibodeaux - that he might just give in and kiss him. But no, they were in a crowded pub full of people who could tell his parents or could tell any number of the people at Hogwarts. It was bad enough that Remus Lupin knew that Regulus liked a boy, he didn't need anyone else knowing.