The Replacement Daughter

Chapter 12 - Staying Hidden

I woke up the next morning feeling tired, sore and borderline depressed. I still can't believe what happened last night. What started as something beautiful ended as something ugly. I wasn't sure how I could move past it.

I forced myself to get up and take a shower. Then I got ready but I didn't leave my room. I stayed in all day.

By noon, May started to take notice. So she brought me lunch to my room. 

"You don't have to do this," I told her as she set the tray down on my coffee table. "I'm not hungry."

"You must be hungry," May insisted, "You missed breakfast." She straightened up and looked at me with a worried look. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm not feeling too well," I lied. "So I'm staying in today."

"Of course. If you need anything, just let me know," May said.

"Thank you, May," I said gratefully.

She smiled and left the room, closing the door gently behind her. 

I attempted to eat the food but my stomach was churning. I managed 3 bites, before giving up. Instead I curled up on the sofa with a book. 

I couldn't really focus, my mind kept going back to last night. I could still feel Jonathan's lips on mine and on the rest of my body. I wished last night didn't happen. Now I can't stop thinking about it.

May came back a little later to collect the tray. "You didn't eat?" she asked.

"I ate a little," I said apologetically.

She smiled and said, "Maybe I'll bring something lighter for dinner. Chicken broth and some bread maybe?"

I nodded and said, "Sure, thank you."

After she left, I was alone with my thoughts again. I discarded the book, I was never going to be able to focus anyway. So I curled up in bed and let myself wallow in my thoughts.

At dinner, May brought the soup as promised. I tried eating as much as I could. 

When she came back to collect the tray, she smiled and said, "I hope you feel better tomorrow."

I smiled at her as she left. I was hoping for the same thing.

*****

I've decided to do something different the next day. I needed to get myself out of this depressed state. So I did the thing that I thought would bring me the most joy.

I went back to the orphanage. It was great to surround myself with raucous, happy children. The babies were awake this time, so I get to cuddle them and feed them. It felt amazing.

Ken wasn't having a great time. He was being forced to get down on all fours and play horsey. 

Around lunch time, I helped Shanti prepare lunch for the kids. It was a massive job, a lot of preparations and massive pots of food. Some of the older kids helped out. The little kids ran around the kitchen. 

"Okay, anybody under the age of 10, please leave the kitchen," Shanti said loudly and the younger kids ran away laughing.

I chuckled and commented, "They are so adorable."

"Yes, adorable, but don't belong in the kitchen where there are knives and boiling liquids," Shanti said pointedly. 

I chuckled and nodded my head. I continued cutting up the French onions. "What are we making?" I asked Shanti.

"Spaghetti bolognese," Shanti said, "The kids's favourite."

Some of the kids in the kitchen whooped happily and I laughed. "They do like it," I said. "What's the occasion?"