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ii. coming soon to a wattpad near you

It's me. I'm coming to a Wattpad near you.

I'm going to be honest with you; I wasn't sure how I was going to come back either. I had to take a rather long hiatus from writing. When I first started on Wattpad, all I ever wanted to do was write. I was writing day and night, publishing chapters weekly (even daily!), and didn't seem to think about anything except writing stories that I loved and adored. I wanted to be a published author eight years ago.

Today? I don't know.

There are a lot of reasons why I had to step away from Wattpad; undiagnosed mental illness and my struggles with gender and sexual identity are a main portion of it. I don't want to go into those details, but I've since worked through them and continue to work on these struggles. 

Another reason was grappling the guilt of a lack of engagement from my end. I understood that I wasn't whipping out chapters every week; I understood that I disappeared for months and only gave you a single chapter upon returning. I also understood how disappointing that would be for you as a reader to have such an unreliable author try to convince you that they are, in fact, reliable.

I can't even promise I'll be reliable now. 

And that guilt and anxiety destroyed me. I could see the notifications I was receiving; I saw the messages in my inbox asking for me to update, to please update, to give you guys a crumb of something! And I couldn't respond to it. It's hard to respond when you've said sorry so many times. 

I still want to write. That hasn't changed.

I still have stories I want to tell you, stories that I want to continue.

So... I'm going to try. I don't know when I'll update next; I don't know what I'll update next. But I just want you to know that I'm writing.

So--coming soon to a wattpad near you.