ELEVEN

2. 11

For now though, we will not talk about that reason. The reason that could potentially be a risk to my entire existence, since I was 17 and thus still blissfully ignorant.

Instead, we will talk about the slight creak that sounded, on turning the doorknob when I carefully opened the door to the basement. We will talk of how my 'heart fluttered' in the worst possible interpretation of that phrase. I was overcome with dread and giddy nausea, for I was facing something I had been afraid of for far longer than was necessary.

However, 'necessary' is a word foreign to most, especially the heart. It is used to falling for the bad ones, growing passionate for the most risky careers and remembering the most painstaking of memories.

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Fear changes something so deep in our minds, that we burn ourselves just thinking of it, even when the actual object of our fear does nothing to harm us. Irrational.

But facing our fears changes us too. In every fundamental way, it unlocks our mind, making us feel as though, once we overcome them, nothing can, ever again, burn us. Also irrational.

.....But must everything make sense though?

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So my feet fell lightly on the steps leading down towards the basement.

First step.

I'm sure you have noticed, dear readers, that my father does care about me.

Second step.

He, in fact, cares about me a lot.

Third.

He loved me like his own daughter for as long as I remember him.

Fifth.

Never felt like I was adopted. He never let me feel abandoned.

Thirteenth.

We often find ourselves talking about the people who leave us, hating them because they refused to love us.

Seventeenth.

But I'm here to tell you a slightly different story. A story about the ones who refuse to leave, even when asked to, who hold us captive with their love against our will.

Last but one step.

My dad loved me so incredibly much. And I have come to realize, that it was the worst possible thing he could have done.

Last.

Do not underestimate the perils of being loved by the wrong people. The ones who believe that to love means to own, and that to need is to keep.

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Snap. Lock. Snap.

Dad always follows the same routine once he comes home for work. Keys on the dresser, shoes in the cabinet, a glass of water from the kitchen and then-

"Lysandra, I'm home!" that.

Yet, today, he received no reply, and thus, the furrowed brows and the annoyance in his voice.

"Lysandra, I said, I'm home!"

Still nothing. And so, the search began.

The bedroom, the bathroom, the guestrooms, but he didn't know that it had been a while since I had been in those rooms.

After tearing the whole house apart, trying to find me, but all in vain, he froze realizing the only other place he hadn't searched yet.

The basement.

She wouldn't, would she? He thought.

.....Well

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It wasn't one huge thing, looking back, rather multiple small things that dad said to me, that made me afraid of stepping into our basement.

"Lys darling, run into the basement and maybe you'll find a corpse there, waiting to be friends with you." He had joked once.

Tell me, is that something you would say to a five year old?

Honestly, now, thinking back, I don't know how I didn't realize sooner, that there was something terribly wrong with the man I call my dad. Or at least, used to call.

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To fear, is the strongest shackle of all.

He did it all right, you know that? He was perfectly aware of what he was doing to me. How he was slowly shackling my mind to him. All the fears put in me, how they would affect me, slowly put me in an unending loop of needing him, it was all carefully planned.

To fear, is the strongest shackle of all. And somehow, to love is an even stronger leash. In fear, at least you want to get away, but in love you don't. It is like a trance meant to hold you captive forever.

But forever isn't as long as most of us believe it to be. And yet, for me, forever was too long of a gamble, to come out unbruised.

-----■

As dad walked down the steps to the basement, all kinds of lies and explanations made their way up to his tongue, ready to face me. But that never did happen.

Because the basement was... empty.

The consecutive call and texts to my dad's phone informed him that I was at my friend's place and that I would be home by dinner time.

So he sighed, thanking the lords, then looked back one last time, at the 11 pictures on the basement wall, and climbed back up to reality.

-----■

I had cried that day. In the arms of my best friend, without telling him what was wrong. And Caden had held me and had patiently listened to my silence all evening, before I inevitably needed to head home.

Wait, scratch that. From that day forward, I never again called those four walls home.

-----■

I had returned to the house that night, with no appetite for dinner. Those pictures had me wanting to puke my guts out every now and then, so food wasn't the best of ideas. You'd know what I'm talking about if you'd seen those pictures. But you haven't.

And readers, we all know, when life get's bad, we pray for someone, out there, to relate to us, to have gone through what we have, to know and understand our pain.

But, when life gets bad enough, we suddenly start to hope, that nobody else in this world would have to feel this kind of agony. We start to hope that nobody should be able to relate, because nobody deserves to go through this.

The way this story is turning out to be, know this, dear readers, the fact that you do not know how I felt, brings me an enormous amount of peace.

For I wouldn't wish my life on even my worst enemies. And you will soon know why.

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Hey loves! That concludes the second chapter. The story is building up slowly, what do you think? What pictures are in the basement? Any theories? Any guesses? As usual, please like, comment and follow! Also, interact with me on my twitter account, username- AuthorShr.

TWITTER LINK => https://twitter.com/AuthorShr

I will leave the twitter link in the comments as well, since it is easier to copy it from there. I hugely appreciate all interactions! So thank you and stay tuned for the 3rd chapter!

See you in the next chapter my loves!

Shr♡

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