Presidential Affairs

《XXIII》

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Nikolai makes his way to us as I keep my eyes on the ground and Hazeem stares off.

I feel his touch before I hear his voice besides me, "You okay baby?".

Clearing my throat, I offer him a reassuring smile, "yeah, we're just catching up".

He keeps his hand around my waist as he glances over at Hazeem whose jaw is locked and eyes are hard.

"Hazeem, right? I've heard a lot about you!"

My childhood bestfriend nods his head and shakes my husband's hand in a tight grip.

"Yeah? I've heard a lot about you aswel...and Felicity too. I dont know how I just found out my best friend was married to a running President".

I cringe when Nikolai's jaw ticks.

"Oh really? She scored a good one dont you think? What have you heard about me? I hope it's all good things?"

Hazeem glances down at me, "hm, well nothing from Felicity. But the people-the media, they seem to love you. And ironically they aren't a big fan of-"

Nikolai's grip around my waist tightens, "they just finished the ribs, baby why dont you go back and-"

"Of who? Me?", I ask Hazeem. "I know they hate me. People can be mean and the media says whatever to make the people happy".

He looks away from me as he shakes his head, "Calling a woman a monkey because she carrie's her children on her back is not mean, it's disgusting. And the whole IVF thing made me sick-"

"That's enough!"

We both look at Nikolai in shock and I stubble into him as my mind tries to figure out what Hazeem is talking about.

"Hazeem what are you talking about?"

His eyes widden at me and then cast daggers at Nikolai, "Seriously? You not only failed to protect her against the media but you also keep her oblivious to it all?"

I step forward, "what are you talking about Hazeem? What is he talking about Nikolai!"

My husband tilts his head up and closes his eyes. He slowly opens them and looks down at Hazeem with a finger pointed.

"You need to leave. Right now! You had no respect for her when you decide to be alone with a married woman so dont act like you care about her now-"

"Respect! You think I dont know what you were trying to do last night! I'm not stupid! And I'm ashamed and sick of the thought of a man defiling his wife to make a point of his masculinity!"

Nikolai drops his hands from my waist and moves closer to Hazeem, "what I do with my wife is not any of your concerns! Go back to Pakistan and find yourself a wife, maybe then you'll stop obsessing over what you cant ever have. Gosh, your chasing after a married woman and I'm the sick one?"

"Why do you let them talk about her like that! You let them spit on her name, ruin her reputation! And you dont care because defending her will make you look bad too. What type of man are you?!"

Nikolai grabs Hazeem's collar and shakes him, "shut the fuck up because you dont know shit! I dont give a fuck about that childhood best friend bullshit, your gonna stay away from my fucking wife! Forget the past, forget her-act like she died if you have to! But I swear on everything I own, if you come near my wife again...I'll kill you".

I close my eyes as tears flow down my face, "that's enough! Let him go".

Nikolai releases Hazeem and we watch as he fixes his clothes and walks back.

After a few quiet seconds, Nikolai sighs and walks back to me, "Felicity...he was lying. You know that I'd never allow them to talk to about you like that-"

"Like what? Because all I ever read is about how I'm supposed to be white and how I'm a whore for dancing to music at festivals, but why are they talking about my kids? Why are they talking about my infertility!"

He shakes his head and looks away from me, "I dont know how that story slipped by us-"

"'Slipped by us'? So basically you try to stop them from going out but you never thought that it was important for me to know?"

He sighs, "I promised myself that you and the kids wouldn't ever be hurt by the choices I make. I chose to be in the spotlight, you never did and hearing these stories would break you. How could I do that to you?"

I groan obnoxiously loud, "Nikolai I honestly dont give a fuck about my heart breaking. How many times have you yourself broke my heart!? Have I died yet! And you wanna throw that protection crap at me-it's not about, it's about trust in this marriage. From now on...from now on you tell me everything. Our marriage, our kids, come before this Presidency-they come before anything! And dont you every forget that, because the day you forget that...is the day you loose everything".

I squeeze my eyes shut and let the last few tears gush out. He hands me his handkerchief and I quickly wipe my face.

"You have thirty minutes to call the driver and book my my plane ticket back home".

With that I toss his handkerchief in the nearby trash can and make my way out to the people.

The last thing I want is to put on a mask and pretend like everything is okay when I truly just want to run home and cry. I want to pull out google and see for myself that Hazeem isn't lying.

That the whole world knows that I'm less of a woman because I can't produce a child for my husband. I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed, I feel exposed, sick. Honestly just want to die right now.

But I have a duty, I made a commitment to this, and if it means faking it till we make it, I will.