Figuring Out

We Need to Talk

Pidge acted weird around Shiro for the next two weeks. Whenever it was her and everyone else, it was fine, but if Shiro was even in the room, or god forbid working one-on-one with him, she'd be awkwardly quiet. Even on missions, she'd do what he said, but very bluntly.

No one seemed to notice really, that it was Shiro she was awkward with, or if they had, they hadn't said. Matt noted to the group how she only really got quiet like this when she really had something that was bothering her, which unknowingly added to Shiro's guilt. Lance and Hunk said that she never talked much when they were at the Garrison, but then again she was keeping her identity secret, and less talking meant less time for people to figure her out. But over all, they brushed it off as puberty or something and let her be. She was nearly 16, bout time she started growing.

---

"Hey, Pidge." He had entered the lab, intending to talk to the girl, everyone else was busy with something else; Keith was away, Lance was training, Hunk was cooking, Matt was gaming in the lounge, and Allura and Coran were in the bridge, discussing coordinates. Pidge was the only option left to bother. Plus, he hated the awkwardness, and wanted to talk to her.

She hummed out a reply along with a slightly head turn, seeing who it was, but ultimately never looking up from her work.
"What are you working on?"
"I got bored so I'm trying to adapt my lions cloaking to last longer. Nothing better to do."
"Matts playing that game you like in the lounge, why not join him?"
"Finished it."
"Lance is training."
"I'd rather train with Keith than Lance, at least he's quiet."
"Hunks in the kitchen."
"Not hungry."
"Allura and Coran are talking math in the bridge."
"I know, I'm the one who helped them with it." She put down her tools, and adjusted her glasses. "Why are you here? You never bother me, it's usually Hunk or Lance." Hands on hips, it was very cute, despite her annoyed glare at the much taller man.
"I have no one else to bother, for all the reasons I just listened. I'd usually just sit with Keith, but he's out right now."
"I figured that."

Shiro moved closer to the edge of Pidge's desk, but upon seeing her tense at his new closeness, he stepped back, and instead moved towards her lion, resting a gentle hand on it (not the Galra one).

"You know, you're lion is the only one who 'sleeps' lying down. I checked, the rest stand up."
"Adding to that fact, they only sleep like that in here. When we're out, they'll sleep upright like everyone else. Guess they finds me as comforting as I find them." The soft grin on her face eased the tension.
"It's incredible the bond you have with her. No one else seems to have that, not yet at least."
"You and Black seemed pretty close before."
"Yeah, I think he got fed up of me." He stifled a laugh.

With that conversation ended, the tension settled back into the air. He didn't know what else to talk about, so he went for it.

"Can we talk?"
"We are talking." Her cool and quick reply didn't hide her shoulders hitching up once more.
"No, no, about...that night."
"Ah. That. What do you want to talk about?"
"It's not so much that night, but more so..." he rolled his hand, trying to think of how to end that sentence. "Well, I want to know why you're ignoring me, really."

"I'm not. I'm just tired."
"You are. Not directly but when ever I'm in the same room as you, you go quiet."
"So I have to talk to you every time you're in the room?"
"No, that's not what I mean and you know it. I'm just saying that you seem to not want to talk to me at all, unless you have to." He slouched against the Green Lion, but after feeling what sounded like a growl go up his spin, he opted to move off it, and just stand, leaning on his left foot.
Pidge laughed at his movement, and he realised that the growl was more than likely the lion actually talking, saying something he couldn't hear.

"So?" He asked when she went back to her work, not having said anything.
"So what?"
"So, can we talk about this please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to." She put down her tools, running both hands through her hair, and turned to walk out of the room. "I'm going to go see Hunk, I'm hungry."

"Pidge please?" He trailed after her. "I understand you're upset, but we need to talk and work through this if we want to work as a team."
She said nothing back.
"Pidge."
Her silent protest continued.
"Katie-"
He got aggressively cut off when she turned and slammed her bayard into the wall beside his head, barely missing it.

"Don't call me that!"
He raised his hands defensively. "Okay, okay. I just want to say, if you're going to keep ignoring me for now, I'm sorry."
The weapon was withdrawn back to her side, as it flashed from existence.
"What I heard was private, and I can't take that back. I really am sorry for that."

Pidge stepped back from him, and leant against the wall opposite, dropping her head with a defeated sigh.

"That's not why I'm upset."
"What?"
"I'm not upset because of what you heard Shiro, I'm upset that you heard it in the first place."
"That's...that's just the same thing, rephrased."

"No it's not." She sighed again. "Listen, you out of anyone in this ship, you already know I'm...different. I lied and convinced everyone that I was a guy called Pidge Gunderson for nearly a year, and then continued that lie when I met all of you, even though I didn't have to, until you brought it up. And after that, I still went by Pidge, despite you knowing my real name. You finding out that I don't like being seen as a girl isn't exactly a huge shock, is it?"
"No, no really."
"Exactly. And I don't mind that, I trusted you Shiro, more than anyone except maybe Matt. But the problem is that you listened in on purpose, when you could have left. Now it feels like I can't trust you like that anymore, because it scared me, knowing that I can't trust you with me. Make sense?"

Shiro processed this. "So, it's the fact that I listened in, and not what I heard that upset you?"
"Yes. You simplified that better than I did." She chuckled awkwardly.
"Oh shoot, Pidge I'm sorry, I had never even considered that as a reason why. How do I make it up to you?"
"I'm not sure, just, don't sneak up on me?" She laughed a little louder this time, and he grinned. "But really, just, give it time I guess? Just, saying this to you makes me feel a bit better anyways so that's a start."
"Well then, why did you avoid me for 2 weeks?"
"It...it felt like a silly thing to be upset about..."
"Oh no, Pidge, nothing you feel is ever to small or silly to not talk about." He stood up right from the wall, and she did the same, shuffling closer.

"Would you like a hug?" He held open his arms.
No words, she just lunged into him.

"Honestly, I kinda hated not talking to you."
"Well," he chuckled, "you don't have to now, yeah?"
She nodded against his chest.

"Wanna go get food now?"
"No, I'm not actually hungry, I just said that to end the conversation..."
"Well too bad, we're getting food, let's go." Arm slung over her shoulder, he dragged a disgruntled Pidge to the kitchen.