𝑀𝒶 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑒

𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎-𝒻𝒾𝓋𝑒

Hermione entered her room in hopes of packing but froze when she saw a bouquet of purple Hyacinths and a stuffed Niffler on her bed, she walked up to it slowly and grabbed the rolled up parchment paper

Hermione

I know I told you to never speak of Mr. Boo Boo but there is something you need to know about him, he is an amazing listener, a brilliant secret keeper, and a wonderful friend, he will take the pain you are through by you rubbing the place where it hurts, he has been with me through thick and thin, but right now he and I both agree that you need him more than I do, tell him everything you hate about me and wish you could change, he will listen, you can cry into him and he will absorb your tears, Merlin knows how many of my tears he's absorbed, he can be the friend I failed to be Hermione, this is the deepest part of my life that no one knows about, Pansy told you that I slept with a stuffed animal but she doesn't know what he represents, I trust you Hermione Jean Granger, even if you don't trust me, at least trust Mr. Boo Boo, you can return him when you're ready but not a second later or trust that he will keep appearing on your bed until you let out all your anger and frustration that you have about me, you're my best friend (just don't tell Theo or Blaise) you're my best friend because you were my first real friend and I messed it up by being a coward, I'm truly sorry and I won't stop apologizing until my last breath, just trust that I believe you to be absolutely extraordinary, not just as a witch but as a human being, your heart is beautiful Hermione, just like you, and you're more than a pureblood than half of the girls here, trust when I say that Madam Marie-Rose chose well, you were truly meant to rule the world, never forget that and never let a dumb idiot like myself ever make you doubt yourself, you're beyond this world Granger, you were meant to change the world.

Sincerely yours

Draco Malfoy

Hermione gave a teary laugh and brought the toy to her face, she inhaled slightly and could smell the expensive cologne, green apples and mint, that she has come to connect with Draco, she sat on the bed and played with the small toy, it looked in perfect condition and Hermione wondered momentarily if Draco had put dozens of protection spells on the toy, she felt the true value of this, it felt as if Draco had given her his heart and if she was being truly honest, she didn't know how she felt about that

She brought the toy to her chest and cuddled it, for the first time in days she didn't feel as bare or exposed as she did, she missed her ring, but for now Mr. Boo Boo would suffice, she subconsciously started rubbing the chest area of the toy while her tears went from being happy to being sad

The first thing she cried about was her parents, even though they never cared for her as much as she cared for them, she had permanently obliviated herself from their lives, not that it made much of a difference, she was never in their life to begin with, Hermione knew that they could go on about their lives with their friends because none of them knew Hermione existed, she was always left with a sitter or with Madam Marie-Rose once she came into her life

Next, she cried about was Madam Marie-Rose and how she wished she had her in her life, she needed a mother, she needed Madam Marie-Rose, Hermione still didn't understand why she had left her, Hermione needed someone, she needed her to have guided her through her wizarding life, she loved Molly Weasley, don't get her wrong, but she felt that the older Weasley witch was sometimes too overbearing and judgemental, but with Madam Marie-Rose, Hermione truly felt like she had a mother, and it broke her heart when her only mother figure left her, she had tried everything to get her to come back, she had even broken the law by shoplifting and spending the night in a cell in hopes that she would have bailed her out and scolded her for her reckless behaviour, when Hermione had found out she was a witch, she wanted to tell Madam Marie-Rose, when she got sorted into Gryffindor she had written a letter to her, Hermione never stopped writing Madam Marie-Rose, every letter was tucked away in a shoebox at the bottom of her trunk, she never stopped loving Madam Marie-Rose as she should have loved her mother

After she cried for everyone who died or lost someone in the war, the guilt was eating her alive and she finally snapped, she begged for forgiveness and slid off her bed to her knees, her legs had given out under all the guilt she had suppressed for months, she was so tried of the guilt and pain she carried on her shoulders, she was so exhausted of the hushed whispers in the corridors and the backhanded compliments in the Daily Prophet

She was so tired, her heart hurt, her head hurt, her soul hurt so much

And soon quickly her tears turned into angry tears, she threw the toy on bed and tried to wipe the tears, she was angry at Malfoy

"Does he think that by lending me you, he'll make everything better?!" She yelled and stood up

"I'm not someone he can buy off and think this will be swept under the rug!"

She began pacing around the room

"I'm not some...thing he can push away when he gets prissy and think that by apologizing he'll make it better! He called me a mudblood! He—I hate him!" She screamed "but I hate that I don't actually hate him!" She growled and stomped her feet like a child

She collapsed after her tantrum and just ran a hand through her hair in frustration

"Yes I know that was childish" she told the toy

"I'm not going to forgive him just yet Mr. Boo Boo, he deserves to beg for my forgiveness" she scoffed, the toy just sat there

"I'm going mental here" she muttered "I'm talking to a stuffed toy" she told the stuffed toy

Hermione laid on the floor and looked at her ceiling, she felt numb, and tired, gods she was tired

She summoned her pillow and a blanket, she cast a quick cushioning spell on the floor and fell asleep on the Gryffindor red carpet