Fast Cars and Intergalactic Speed Dating

5: Devil Woman

Richard's nap had turned into a sleep, which he should have predicted. The number of late nights he'd had over the past several weeks had resulted in a sleep debt he was unlikely to pay off any time soon.

Nevertheless, he was up at the crack of dawn the next morning. The sun did not seem to rise so much as to gently illuminate the sky bit by bit from behind a veil of clouds, and as the sky lightened, Richard's heart grew heavier.

Sure enough, by 7:30 AM it was sprinkling. Richard put some coffee on to brew and checked the weather app on his phone. It looked like it would clear up by midday, and the race wouldn't start until 4:30. Most likely, they wouldn't be rained out, but as Richard peered out the window over his cup of steaming coffee, he felt very pessimistic indeed.

Around 9, Richard phoned the office at the track to ask them to hold two tickets for Garth—one for him and one for his mystery companion. Then he sat down to relax on the couch, scrolling through the tech and science news on his laptop, his favorite morning ritual.

As he was reading an article about a recently-discovered enzyme that could break down plastic, a text flashed on his phone. He picked it up and swiped to open the message without thinking, only to feel like he had been punched in the lower stomach, hard, by someone whose friends called him Butch.

[Devil Woman] Are you awake?

What the hell did Charlise want at 9 AM on a Saturday morning after more than nine months of complete radio silence? Richard stared at the screen of his phone, feeling clammy and hot at the same time. Had someone died? Had she thought of something else she wanted from him that she hadn't gotten in the settlement? Did she want to "discuss"—a term that, when used to describe an interaction with Charlise, meant something more like "monologue endlessly in a shrill voice"—something from their past?

Richard tapped to respond, choosing each letter with care.

[Richard] Good morning to you too.

An immediate response came in.

[Devil Woman] Don't be childish. We need to talk.

[Richard] Wonderful. Shall I just punch myself in the face several times and save you the trouble?

[Devil Woman] I'm calling you

No, no, no, this absolutely could not happen. A conversation with Charlise would be the cherry on top of this rainy day and utterly destroy any focus he could hope to have during the—

The phone rang.

Racked with anxiety and an intense desire to do anything but speak with Charlise, Richard stared at the phone as it rang without moving. Seconds passed, and the call ended. A missed call message appeared on the screen.

The phone immediately began to ring again.

"I really hope someone's died," Richard muttered. He closed his eyes and swiped to answer the call. "Hullo."

"You can be so immature sometimes," Charlise snapped. "I have better things to do with my time than wait for you to pick up the phone."

"Excellent. Go do those better things. It's been great chatting with you—"

"Stop. I need to know the town you were born in again."

This took him aback. "What?"

"Your place of birth! I know it starts with a D. What was it?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"Mitchell and I are getting pre-approval for a mortgage, not that it's any of your business, and I am trying to organize the accounts. You must have set up my savings account with e-bank for me because I can't remember the password and it's asking me security questions."