Eternal [HS]

Chapter Thirty-Eight

THE THIRD DAY OF GOING WITHOUT sleep, and, subsequently, more fear and worry about not being able to find Harry, is one of the worst days of her life.

It's as if her body knows the urgency of the situation, of her need to fall asleep and call out to him from a dream, and refuses to aid her in any way. She knows that isn't true. She knows that her lack of sleep is a result of acute anxiety, but, fuck, her body could not have picked a less opportune time to deprive her of rest. Headaches pounded within her head all day long, she moved with a sluggish pace, and the circles beneath her eyes could almost rival the ones that were there when she woke up after the attack in Harry's guest bedroom.

The first half of the day was mostly spent trying to keep busy. Jo was no longer trying to run from her feelings, but boredom instead.

Niall and Mitch tried everything they could to help while simultaneously orchestrating an effort to find him through other methods on their end, yet they couldn't come up with much for her to do. She couldn't clean compulsively as she usually does when bored or contemplating something too stressful to handle because she was too fatigued, nor could she get a night's sleep to think on the situation with a clear head in the morning. All there was left to do was wallow in the misery and find smaller, menial tasks to fill her time.

It started with that, with trying to read books despite not having the focus and taking walks around the property while talking to Mitch, then shifted into something else.

On one of her short-lived walks, Mitch gave her an idea: try to fatigue her body as much as possible until it cannot do anything but sleep. For such a simple concept, one would think that it'd be easy, but it wasn't. She could only walk outside with Mitch for a few minutes before being ushered back inside out of fear of being spotted, so exercising outside was out. She resorted to doing as much as she could in the living room, finding the strength to push herself through her exhaustion until she almost felt sick.

It wasn't until late in the afternoon that she laid her head down on the pillow and finally succumbed to her body's severe state of exhaustion. For someone who has been yearning for rest for days straight, she thought she might be too excited at being tired enough to sleep after waiting so long, but it wasn't like that at all. It felt so normal, like she was tired after a day of training in the gym with Harry and fell asleep after wanting to 'rest for a minute'—He always teased her about how she says she isn't falling asleep, then is snoring into one of the couch pillows two minutes later.

As she drifted away, there was no thought of what's happening around her or the fact that the man she loves is missing. In fact, she could almost feel him with her when she began losing consciousness. The arms that are always wrapped around her were felt in a phantom's embrace, and she could have sworn that she felt the familiar presence of his face buried in her neck the closer she came to going under.

Now, she has entered a pleasant dreamscape that might as well exist in a separate universe.

Sunlight beats down on her from overhead. It shines so brightly, she has to squint to see the beautiful scenery surrounding her from all sides. Beneath her, a silk blanket is spread out to keep a barrier between her and the unruly blades of grass sticking up from the ground that makes up the small clearing in the woods. Everything around is a portrait of beauty and warmth, so unlike the gloomy world she has grown to love since she was brought there by—

The feeling of a familiar hand grasping hers jolts her out of her thoughts, and she's about to punch blindly without regard for who is trying to get her attention until the sound of his voice graces her presence. Though she realizes it's a dream the second she turns to see him, the sound of his deep voice and sight of that beautiful face are enough to settle the unending fear she feels.