Eternal [HS]

Chapter Forty-One

UNLIKE THE FIRST TIME SHE "DIED" in Niall's arms, this time, she has entered a blinding white mass of light that she feels the need to squint to guide herself through to wherever it is she is being urged to go.

The first time, "dying" felt like falling asleep.

Jo slipped away into peaceful black nothingness like it was nothing, without any inkling of fight left in her, and the darkness accepted her with warm, welcoming arms. This time, she is blinded by the light she is confronted with in this undefined other place between life and death that lures her further inside.

She keeps venturing in.

The light that surrounds her is flaring up so brightly, she reaches out to shield her eyes from it with her hands to make out her surroundings, but there aren't any surroundings. All that exists is empty space and the infamous white light so many depict in the crossover from life to death in films, books, and other mediums of artwork.

Perhaps she hadn't seen it last time because she wasn't completely dead yet. There was a part of her, however small and insignificant, that was still hanging onto the barely-there grasp she had on life.

She has spent the past few days worrying over what it would be like, wondering if it would be the same frightening expanse of darkness she once experienced, but it isn't anything like that. If anything, it's the opposite. It's warm, light, and happy, and if she didn't still remember the people she's leaving behind on earth, she'd probably wish to stay here forever for the feeling it gives her alone.

It almost reminds her of how Harry makes her feel: safe, happy, and protected. It feels like his arms are wrapped around her right now, and after the whirlwind of an experience that the past few days have been, that's a feeling she has missed desperately.

She's about to reach the destination her body and mind somehow know to take her to without instruction when a strange voice breaks through the silence. The only thing is, the voice is not to be heard out loud in the space surrounding here. It isn't said the way things back on earth are said, it's crooned into the forefront of her mind without having to a physical being to speak through.

'Why are you here?' The voice asks as though the concept of her dying and ending up in such a place wasn't intended by predetermined fate or other higher powers tipping the scales of reality.

Even though her body feels like it's there, when she tries to continue walking, she feels something stopping her. There isn't anything physically there, but whenever she tries to keep moving into the light, there's an invisible shield that snaps down into place in front of her before a single step can be taken. And, just like that, the sense of peace falters for a second as she becomes panicked with her inability to control her own body anymore. Invisible shackles tighten into place around her limbs and force her to stay to entertain the strange voice.

She looks left, right, up, down, and in just about every foreseeable direction she can without seeing the source of the person questioning her.

"I-" she sputters, "I don't even know where I am. What do you mean? I died."

The last sight she saw before fading away was the flickering shadows of the candlelight cast upon the ceiling. Some of it was blocked by Mitch's head, which was buried in her neck to suck the blood from her body, but she saw enough to be content with what was ultimately her last human memory. That was the only thing she saw before being tugged like the current of the ocean into the overwhelming white light that composes the entirety of this new world.

It is beautiful and peaceful, yet she can't help but feel tied back to the place she just left behind. How could she not? She came here with the intention of going back, not staying, despite the fact that it would be lovely to remain here under better circumstances. However, the fact that there are any better circumstances for the end of life is debatable to many. For some, death is the thing they fear most. She used to be one of those people, but after experiencing it, truly experiencing it this time, there was no reason to fear it.

For her, it was quick and easy. The chills were the worst part, and even they eventually stopped and gave way to a numb sleepiness she couldn't help but submit to in the end. It wasn't the painful, useless thing she once thought it was. Death is what brings meaning to life. The few years she has spent living as a human are made meaningful by the knowledge that it'll all end one day, and here she is giving up that meaningful mortality to save a person she loves.

The voice says, 'You aren't supposed to be here yet, soon, but not yet.' The knowledge that her death was intended young enough to warrant a use of the word "soon" sends shivers throughout her body. 'Are you sure you want to be here? You don't want to go back?'

Go back? Maybe this person—if they even are a person—doesn't know what they're doing to her back on earth if they're asking such a question. The only reason she's here is for the sake of coming back as a different version of herself, a stronger, immortal version that can reenter the human realm without dropping dead. Of course she wants to go back, yet not in the way this faceless voice means.

"You mean as someone else?" she asks without missing a beat.

It calls to mind a memory of what Harry once said about the blood bond transcending their lifetimes and extending into the next. He said that one of his favorite rumors as to what happens is that two partners with their souls irreversibly tied together will always find each other, even if they don't possess the same physical bodies or features they did when they originally made the bond. This means that even if she did want to go back in a new body with new memories and family members and interests, she would still find him somehow, and that sweetens the sinister aspect of dying to a degree she hadn't expected it to.

As long as she sees him again, whether it be in a new life in a new body or as a vampire in her current one, she doesn't care about the price she must pay to get there. Whether it be death, murder, theft, or deception, it doesn't matter. Harry is the only thing she can seem to think of when all is said and done due to the blood bond connecting them. He's a part of her now, and when she dies, the part of himself that he gave dies with her.

'You'd have to leave all of your memories of this life behind and take on a new appearance, but it'd still be you,' it says. 'If that's what you want.'

"What if it wasn't what I wanted? What's the alternative to going back?"

'Going forward. If you don't want to go back, I'd like to ask you what you do want to do? I'm afraid it's only one or the other.'

Though she can no longer move, the world around her seems to shine brighter in reaction to her question. The light wants to lure her closer, pull her in, and whatever it is that controls this place took her question as an almost answer to their question: does she want to stay? Does she want to stay here and continue into the peaceful beyond, or does she want to be reborn as someone new? Little do they know, what she seeks cannot be found in either of those options.

Whoever, or whatever, it is she's speaking to is wrong. There is a third option that lingers in the darkness that does not exist in the light that longs to swallow her up inside of it. It is frowned upon in the place it urges her to go, to the peaceful beyond where many answered mysteries and long-dead relatives await, but it is an option. However unfavored it may be, anyone with the opportunity to take it is allowed to make the decision for themselves.

That is why the entity behind the voice pauses abruptly before she can answer with the truth.

Somewhere far away, Mitch is pushing Niall's blood into her veins through the IV as they pause together in anticipation of the rumbling noise that slowly erupts from beneath her feet. The force of the noise shakes her body where it stands, and she snaps her head up in search of the person or thing that has been speaking to her only to remember its anonymous nature.

The only parting words it gives her are, 'It seems you're wanted elsewhere,' before the ground beneath her feet vanishes.