In love with a Winchester. || Diam One-Shots

{1} Letters To Liam

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To Liam-

"That doesn't sound right." Dean huff's as he scribbles it out and gets a fresh piece of paper.

Dear Liam,

I know that at the moment we aren't on good terms, and you are well... mad at me and you have every right to be. However, I've been thinking a lot recently, about the argument and you.

The pen stops moving momentarily. Perhaps he should just start agai- NO no! He's committed to this one now. He rubs his face softly letting out a soft sigh as he continues.

- About how I was the one in the wrong, but you just took every word and punch I threw.

Why didn't you fight back?

I have wondered that for a very long time. At first I thought you were being a coward, turns out I was always the coward. I couldn't face the truth. My best friend had never betrayed me, YOU never betrayed me.

Dean puts his pen down..

Why is this so hard? why can't he get his words out? there's so much he wants to apologies for, he may need more paper, perhaps he should get some mo- Now he's just procrastinating.

He picks up the pen again, Knowing this needs to get this finished before Sam comes down.

So Dean carries on....

I was just too much of an idiot at the time to see that truth, it was staring me in the face the entire time. The truth being that... You were never looking at her, all the time's I caught your glances. They were never at Rebecca, you were looking at me. I was just too dumb to realise. You'd never sleep with Rebecca, god you hated her.

I still ask myself from time to time why I believed her, all she ever said was lies. In fact you had warned me of that many times, but I failed to listen because I was blinded by her looks. Not that it got me anywhere.

Dean holds his breath a little, to stop the tears he can already feel forming in his eyes.

I never thought I'd be telling you this buddy, but you deserve to know about how much my heart broke seeing you backing away from me. And how I will always remember the look pain and betrayal in your eyes as you held back a sob and cradled your arm, Or how I will forever remember the way your breath staggered as you ran off. Not to mention how cruelly I laughed when you tripped.

"Damn it" Dean muttered quietly under his breath, Seeing his tears hit the paper as he writes.

There's nothing more I want right now, than to go back and believe what you were trying to tell me and to listen to what you had to say for once in our goddamn lives.

No matter how much I could pray or wish for that, it's never going to be able to happen.

I know it's not... can't a man dream?

'Can't a man dream?' what the hell was he thinking. That's way too cheesy.

Dean quickly checks the clock to see if he has time to rewrite it, huffing when he realises that he doesn't. He's just going to have to live with that line.

You deserved the world, yet I couldn't give it to you. I never could, I was only ever able to destroy it.

I guess this is my apology, a pretty poor one at that. I've just mostly wrote about my guilt and regrets, When I should have been apologising for breaking your arm (and nose), taking her side and abandoning you when you needed me the most, although there is so much more. To the point where I could go on and on for pages.

I mi-

He stops abruptly hearing footsteps start to come down the stairs. It must be Sam.

Dean quickly turns back and scribbles down the last few words. He just about folds the paper shove's it into the envelope, as Sam gets to the bottom of the stairs.

"Dean? Are you ready to go?" Sam's voice is gentle.

"I've been ready for a while Sam, just been waiting for you. What took you so long, were you curling your hair?" Dean say's wiping his eyes before turning his head to look at Sam with a forced smirk.

Dean then gets up, sneakily hiding the letter in his jacket pocket, hoping Sam hasn't seen and then they both head back up the stairs and out of the bunker. They head straight to the impala that is parked outside ready.

They both get in silently and dean doesn't even touch the radio, He's not in the mood for music right now, he just starts the car and drive's off.

#

Sam watch's quietly as Dean gets out of the impala and heads over to an empty cemetery. He would follow his brother, but he knows how much this means to Dean and how he needs to face this alone.

He comes to a stop, fresh tears starting to run down his cheeks. Dean slowly kneels down in front of a gravestone gently tracing the name carved into it, before shakily pulling the letter out from his pocket and gently placing it down next to a pile of fresh flowers.

The wind howls softly behind him, And he just stares silently at the stone wishing it wasn't there. If dean's completely honest with himself, he doesn't know what else to do. The tears are now streaming down his face and his breath hitch's a little.

There's only one thing he can think of and the desperate word's leave his mouth in nothing more than a soft whisper.

"I miss you Liam, Please come back to me."

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Authors notes
I really hope you enjoyed this first instalment of the one shot stories, sorry about the angst. I just can't help it, I love it. There might be a happy ending version in the works! And of course so many other stories.