Fate Carries You Away; Drifting Further and Further

Chapter 18: Wish Me A Happy Birthday, I'll Need It

Aslan Callenreese

12 Aug. 2018

A birthday doesn't feel like a birthday when someone is missing.

It'll be my first birthday without Griffin. And even though my previous three birthdays have felt like he wasn't there anymore, I know his non-responsive shell won't even be here this year.

I'll be turning eighteen, which means my big brother has never seen me as an official grown up. It hurts when I think about it too much, but I just wish I could just stay seventeen for forever.

Eiji, though he doesn't even have to work today, doesn't seem to plan on letting me drag myself through the day like I normally do.

Instead he barges into my room at nine in the morning, making a big commotion.

"What are you doing?" I mutter, looking up from the book I was reading.

The short Japanese nurse is standing in my doorway with a bundle of helium balloons in his hands. There are also at least two carton bags with presents.

"Happy eighteenth birthday, Ash!" he says with a smile, while walking towards my bed. Right after he's put down the bags and the balloons at my feet, he wraps his arms around me tightly. Hugging me so hard that it's almost like he wants to suffocate me, but I know he means it well.

I don't think I've ever seen someone act so happy on my birthday, not even myself.

"H-How did you know?" I stammer, when I realize I never once told him about my birthday.

"Who knows." He grins mysteriously after letting go of me. "Neh, just joking. I saw it in your medical file and knew I had to surprise you with something fun."

I glance at the bags beside me; that's not just some fun thing, it's basically an entire store. And even though he walks it with lots of balloons and nicely wrapped gifts and in the happiest mood ever, I don't feel like partying today and I don't quite know how to tell him that.

"So, Ash," he asks me, sitting down beside my bed on the crutch. "How does it feel to be an adult?"

I swallow audibly; of everything he can ask, why did he have to ask that exact question?

He watches me closely as I put away my book and turn to him. He looks so much more cheerful than he has looked over the past couple of days, and even though there are bags under his eyes from working overtime so often, I know he genuinely wants to try to make today the best for me.

I close my eyes briefly, and with a knot in my stomach I whisper, "It feels strange." I could say literally anything, I could even tell him to piss off and let me read my book in peace, but for some reason it makes me much happier to be real with him in a way that doesn't hurt his feelings.

"I can understand that." Eiji chuckles before his cheeks turn all red. When I ask him why he's blushing, he immediately tries to chance the subject by grabbing a present for me.

"No, no," I say, shaking my head and grinning. "Are you blushing? I want to know!"

Eiji's cheeks turn a bright red when he carefully admits that he did something he's kind of ashamed of when he turned eighteen. "I literally went to all the places where I had been told I looked young to do whatever I came to do at that place. I showed all of them my identity card, all of that effort, to rub it in that I was a grown up now." He manages to get even redder. "And I felt so proud afterwards."

I glare at him to see if he could possibly be joking, but there's not a spark of him that shows me that he hasn't actually done something that useless. I snort and ask, "Why?"