𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐍 | 𝐇.𝐏. | 𝟏𝟖+

𝟎𝟎𝟔 - 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞

Good grief! Yesterday, I woke up with +2K reads on TORN? You guys truly amaze me! Thank you so much for reading this fanfic, and enjoy this dirty chapter. A special thank you to Grace for shouting me out on TikTok!

Who's here from TikTok? Let me know in the comments <3

Anyways, once this chapter reaches 80 votes, I'm publishing the next one. Love you & have fun reading! (Comment and Harry will forever adore you) (:

SHE SLAMS the door of the Quidditch changing room behind her and strides over to the sink. She clutches either side of it and writhes back and forth.

You are in charge of this. You haven't lost control.

She repeats the words steadily. Convinces herself that she's telling the truth.

You are in charge of this. You haven't lost control.

Inhaling shakily, she tries to control her distorted breaths, but instead, meets the stench of sweat-drenched bodies. It's oozed into the walls and the stink of it makes her want to throw up. She coughs, claws at her throat. She's letting her feelings slip out of control again. And she gags, tightens her grip on the sink. Nothing comes out. But how could it? She hasn't eaten anything all day.

Her mind won't stop spiraling. She can't help but think that it's too much. The situation is too much. She's never been one to handle stressful events, and what she's feeling right now is definitely stress.

She keeps on writhing back and forth.

You are in charge of this. You haven't lost control.

But she feels so bitter. Hurt. Used. Not good enough. And it's because of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. She can't tell the difference between them anymore, doesn't know what's good for her.

Probably not them.

She wonders what Ginny Weasley has that she doesn't. She wants to blame it on Harry himself, but who would want to create a bond with a former Death Eater?

She's desperate for a bond.

And Draco... He wants to reconnect, but she can't. She just simply can't. Not after—

She stops thinking about it.

Instead, her mind automatically trails towards Pansy. Her best friend. No, she's not. It's ruined. Jade bites back a sob. It all started very subtly. Theo came into the picture and Pansy associated Jade with war. Theo was the only non-active Death Eater. He doesn't have the Mark. But she has it and that'll never change.

Pansy doesn't want to do things with her anymore. They don't climb into each other's bed anymore, gossiping until the late hours. She doesn't confide in Jade about her shitty family anymore. In fact, she's stopped talking to her.

It's the way that Pansy's radiant and vibrant glow has turned into nothingness.

And Jade figures that she's bound to be alone. It's going to be like this for a long time so she might as well grow accustomed to it. Or perhaps, she could just disappear. Nobody will come after her anyway.

But she can't just start over.

She has to survive this year, and her probation, and then she'll finally be free again.

She thinks.

She's a Death Eater, it's etched into her soul. Charming it with a quick Glamour spell won't make it go away.