secrets or lies: a johannie story

fourteen.

johnnys pov:

i was talking to annie at her locker and we have pretty much made everything official without making it official.
i keep begging her though.
but she says what we have is nice and simple, she says she not ready to make anything official until she is for sure ready for her fans to know. it's frustrating for me but i trust her and i really like her so i'll deal with it.

i think i'm falling in-love with her and i have been for a while, i just didn't want to admit it to myself because opening yourself up to love is a scary thing. 
she's everything i want in a person.
i've been saying it for a while, but i need to talk to hayden to call off this bet.
i let it go on long enough, and it's not fair to her. i don't want to hurt her.

j: okay so i'll pick you up at seven.
i say smirking at her.
a: you're picking me up what a change of events.
j: i passed my drivers test and now i don't know how to act.
i say giggling and so does she.
a: where are we going anyways?
she says smiling back, which makes me weak.

j: it's a surprise julianna grace, i told you that already.
a: yeah i know just want to make sure you're not kidnapping me.
she says jokingly.

j: if i were to kidnap you, your brother would probably hunt me down.
a: hayley would probably find you first.
she says laughing.
j: she's scarier, you're definitely not worth it.
a: hey.
she says offended.

j: i'm kidding
i say as i started to laugh.
j: obviously you're worth that and so much more.
i say sappy and she just rolls her eyes grinning.
j: wait come here.
i say grabbing her hand and pulling her to a small private hallway.
a: what?
she says smiling.
j: i just wanted to kiss you.
i say leaning over while i put my hands on her cheek and kissed her and she kissed me back.

a: we should not be doing this here.
she utters in between kisses.
j: it's so much fun though.
i say before she pulled our lips apart.
j: come back.
a: the bells gonna ring soon. 
she started to walk away but i grabbed her hand and pulled her backed.
j: breaking the rules is kind of my thing.
i say while leaning over and kissing her again.
she kissed me back, but pulled away.
a: well it's not mine, come on.
j: it was for a little while.
she says starting to walk away and i caught up to her.
as she turned the corner she almost bumped into hayden.

a: oh sorry!
h: hey guys.
a: hey where have you been, you kinda iced me out after the cafeteria thing.
h: yeah i realized at that point i had officially lost so i didn't bother to reach out anymore.
a: lost what?
annie's said confused. 
i shook my head at hayden praying he wouldn't say anything.
then i stopped as annie looked up at me looking even more confused.

h: anyways i came to congratulate you john, you pulled it off completely and i have no idea how.
i shook my head at hayden trying to get him to stop as he has his hand out with the money,  but i don't take it.
h: you won, a deals a deal.
a: what'd you win?
annie asked confused.

h: johnny hasn't told you? you guys seems so close i assumed he would've broken the news's. i guess you really just wanted to win.
a: will you please tell me what's going on?
annie says looking at me really sympathetic. which made me feel so much worse.
h: well annie-
the only words i could get out were
j: hayden stop we can go talk about this!
h: neither of us actually liked you, we made a bet to see who could get with you first and the loser owed the winner fifty bucks.
hayden says insensitive and straight to the point.

annie didn't show any emotion after hearing that, her face was just blank.
a: is that true?
she asked me.
h: it is true.
a: johnny is it true?
she said wanting me to speak for myself.

j: yes, but it was months ago!
a: of course
she says as she looked down shaking her head.
a: bye guys.
she said walking away from hayden and i.
i immediately chased after her in a private hallway.
j: annie!
i shout catching up with her and grabbing her arm and making her face me. 
a: this was all for a stupid bet.

you could see the tears in her eyes that she tried to wipe away.
you could see the hurt in her face.
j: please let me explain everything.
a: there's nothing to explain! was any of this really necessary, was using me really necessary? how can two people be so insensitive about another persons feelings.
j: annie it was before i got to know you! it was stupid and immature and i've been regretting it this entire time. these past two months with you have changed my life, you have changed my life!

a: you became apart of my family, i told you my secrets, we welcomed you with open arms into my friend group, and i cared about you more than i've ever cared about anyone else before.
she takes a deep breath.
a: oh my gosh i'm an idiot i actually thought you felt the same way and we were on the same page, but we weren't. i should've trusted my gut. i don't know what i expected either, i just thought you were actually different than what i originally thought of you.
she said basically disregarding what i said.
j: i am different, we are on the same page!

a: no you're not, because the person i knew wouldn't have lied to me like this.
hearing that hurt, but i deserved it.
j: it was a lie that turned into a secret i admit, but i never lied about my feelings for you!

a: i don't want to hear it, because i don't want to scream at you and say things i genuinely don't mean. but i really i hope my feelings were worth $50.
j: please don't walk away, what's gonna happen to us.
a: there isn't an us this is over, and if there wasnt a huge secret or lie whatever you want to call it in between us there never would have been an us.