Twelve (UNDER EDITING)

Chapter 12

DreamLand Note: Before you read I want everyone to know that I will be mentioning Germany in the context that you are hated on for being different if you have different ways of living compare to someone who has a considered normal life in the eyes of society. I do not live in Germany, and I do not want anyone to think that this is what Germany is like in anyway possible. Germany will only be like this for the context of this story. Please do not harass anyone of German descent in the comments thinking that this is what modern Germany is like or critising them for letting such behavoir to continue. Anyways on a good note I hope you enjoy the Chapter!!!

They say when you're dead you experiance all your charished memories one last time before darkness consumes your eyes forever. Your time, the people you have befriended, the people you loved, everything you do down to the last morsel, is seen in those memories. They also say to charish the little things in life..........................................They constantly say that people tend to forget about the small things and go after the bigger things in life.............Fame.........Money.........Power.......................Well all I see is the little things now.................Thats all I was ever permitted to see........................All I ever had were the small things to charish and love...............The only question remains..............................What will I see when I am dead?.........................All I see is darkness...........................Am I dead?

Another thing they say is you hear and see your soulmate one last time before the sound of silence and the eyes of darkness drown you forever........................All I hear is the sound of silence.................................Now I know I am not dead.......................................At least not yet.....................................

Many adults have said to me that I am a little too childish for my age whenever Nanna invited those people over, during the time we lived in Das Vaterland (TRANSLATION: The Fatherland). Our home consisted of a small kitchen which was also our dining room, with wooden accents covered with homemade quilts Nanna made in her spare time. Our living room covered with quilts and wooden chairs and decore. My room covered with rainbows, instead of pink accents and pastel white and pink shades that every other German girl had in their room. Many older women were disgraced that I liked manly colors or any color other than pink or white. Many have told me I was no lady, no man wanted me, I will forever live and die alone. I never saw those women again....................................... I have come to realize and understand that many people who are blinded by society's idea of normalization do not understand the word different when it comes to any catagory of life, the way a person dresses, speaks, moves, and even loves. Not many people in Germany, especially adults, do not understand that a big number of people have different ways of coping with life, whether it be eating enormous amounts of food or even living a childish dream to escape the harsh reality of life. I have always lived by the second option. Nanna tried to keep me as innocent as possible, Nanna knew she would have to tell me the horrors of the world. She did not want to tell me all at once, she did not want to crush my gentle heart nor my spirit. Nanna started out simple, with basic lessions, not to trust strangers or choose your friends wisely. Those lessions carried on and became more indepth and mature in meaning when I grew older. I did not realize it until just a couple years ago that she was teaching me lessions to stray away from the harsh reality of the world. My mind clicked my memories on like a film recorder, sputtering and shuting on and off, the quality disturbingly low, and the voices.......................very screechy and loud. I never had any friends due to my childish lifestlye even now as a young teen. The girls dressed as pretty princesses, the boys as hardworking princes, well hardworking enough to bring in money. The girls they always hated me, I acted oblivious and unaware, however I still tend to be oblivious and forget how men act when they want to be in my pants, until I knew they were upset because every boy saw out my hand in love..................they were upset that I was something they were not....................I was wanted they were not.............

I never knew what was bound to happen to me that day. I always covered my whole body with clothing before I travelled to school everyday. I was scared of what people would think of me if they saw how many I had compared to them. In my old school one was a blessing two or more was a curse. People were told to believe that people with more then one soulmate would die early on of heartbreak or even death. That person's other two soulmates would fight constantly because they were never soulmated together, they were only soulmated to that one person. Another senario is that they all are soulmated to one another but one dies.........and cue the domino effect of death.

I walked into school that day prepared for the looks the pet names, however none of them came. No words were spoken, or even better no lips moved. I failed to notice a slinking shadow behind me down the narrow hallway of the westside of the school. All I can remember after that is a rush of manly and womenly screams of adults and children alike. Many words were screamed, however these tore me apart........................

" A soulmonster,"

" A Soulkiller,"

The one that hurt me the most was no word, but a spoken sentence................

"You deserve to be alone,"

Those words created a monster of a moment and memory of realization that I was always alone in school. I was only used for something to talk about, not something to talk with even with my introverted self. At my old school I tried to make friends, before this incident, however even then no one talked to me they all ignored me, even teachers. The boys................well...............they showed me affection through flowers they never talked to me or even aproched me, sometimes I like to think that it was all a joke to get my hopes up that someone was at least knowing of my presence, until the incident. Nanna took me out of public school that day after the head called her. Nanna did not want to risk physical abuse. She already knew that I had enough mental abuse.

I could hear a tiny voice one filled with worry, emotion, and distress. One that could make any heart tingle with joy, especially mine......................

Peter's

Hi everyone! This was a filler chapter and a backstory chapter. I hope you all liked it!

-DreamLand