Ugh, Monday. Time for school. I felt anxious, excited, nervous, and just...a mix if basically everything. I woke up at around 5, making sure to get a good start on the day. I pulled my hair into a messy bun beforr trudging downstairs. I decided to grap a toastable waffle since I had thrown up everything I've eaten in the past two days. Once it popped up, I grabbed the waffle and munched on it while making my way back upstairs. I grab my speakers and plug them into my phone while turning on Spotify. I went to A Day To Remember and put them on shuffle. ADTR has helped me through so much, plus I couldn't help but laugh everytime I saw the All Signs Point To Lauderdale video. Anyway, I quickly pulled on some old black skinny jeans and my last year's Warped Tour hoodie. Best. Sweatshirt. Ever. So comfy. Slipping on my vans, I went into the bathroom to do my hair and stuff. I brushed my teeth super fast then washed the previous day's makeup off. I applied a thin layer of foundation and some eyeliner and mascara then began my hair. I took it out of it's bun and turned on my straightener. While waiting for it to get hot, Anna texted me telling me she would pick me up in half an hour. Just enough time. I did my hair in layers so I could easily run my fingers through it. I finished just in time because I heard a car horn. I ran downstairs and out the door, going to the car. "You ready?" Bella asked as we pulled out of the driveway.
I replied, "Ready as I'll ever be."
………………………………………………………………
My anxiety was getting the best of me the whole ride because of the girls talking about everyone at school. But as we pulled into the parking lot, that's when I had a full blown attack. I wasn't able to breathe at all and my vision was spotted and blurry. "Are you okay?" asked Anna as we parked. I nodded my head and managed to croak out an I just need a minute. "Take your time," she replied.
"We'll stay with you until you're ready," said Bella. I nodded and gave them a small smile.
After 5 minutes of breathing exercises, I mananged to get up and out of the car. "Everyone gets their timetable today," explained Bella. "New students go to this one." She pointed to an office across the hall.
"We go to this one. Catch you afterwards, got it?" Anna told me.
"Yeah I think so," I said.
As soon as I got in line people started staring at me. I just looked down and pretended to be occupied with something on my phone. All of a sudden I felt something, more like someone, hit me and knock my phone out of my hands. "Hey!" I shouted.
"Oh my god what the hell are you?" this girl said while laughing to her friend. "Is she even real?" she turned her head and poked my shoulder. "It's like some troll thing. Ugh ew," she wiped her hand on her skirt and trotted off to get in the other line. I quickly wiped away the tears that began to fall. That really fucking hurt. I put my earbuds in and turned on some band.
Before I knew it I was next in line. The lady gave me my schedule while chewing her gum. She looked really annoyed. "Next," she called. I left and looked for Anna and Bella who were already done. Thank god.
"So what classes do you have?" asked Anna. I showed her my classes and we all have the same lunch, study hall, and geometry class. I have biology and a photography class with Anna, and English with Bella. Unfortunately, no one in the world history. It goes Geometry, Biology, English, Study Hall/lunch, History, then Photography. So we all made our way down to maths.
All we did really was stupid stuff. Went over the basic formulas for areas of shapes or whatever. I was never one to pay attention in class so I had no idea what she was even saying. Next was biology with Anna so we said our "see ya laters" to Bella and split off to our classes. The whole class was just lab precautions. Apparently we were doing a lot this year. I spent most of the time whispering to Anna and drawing in my journal. Not like I cared. Time for English. So Anna pointed me in the direction of the class since everyone was going in a different direction or coming from a different one. I was scared but mananged to make it there. The teacher gave us a worksheet to do but I was confused as hell because Australian English was a lot more different than American believe it or not. I did okay I thought, but not great by any means. Oh well. Time for Study Hall which Bella said was like the easiest class. You didn't even have to do anything really. You could talk, listen to music, study, whatever as long ad you were somewhat silent. So I plugged my headphones in and turned on Spotify. I got out my journal and continued with my drawing of someone performing at a concert. It was my dream to perform but simce I have no talent and wouldn't be able to do it, I wanna be a photographer. Like Adamn Elmakias, he inspires me so much. Touring with bands, I also wanna do that. I also loved Ashley Osborn and Chriss Lee "Grizlee" Martin. Anyway, since we had second lunch, the hour went by fast. Before I knew it everyone was making their way to the cafeteria so I followed closely behind. I didn't have a lunch but Bella and Anna didn't have much anyway. They questioned why I wasn't eating anyway.
"Why don't you have any food?" Anna asked.
I shrugged and replied, "Not hungry. I don't usually eat at lunch anyway."
"Why not?" Bella said
I looked at her carefully. I liked her but this stuff was a touchy subject so I didn't like questions. But she didn't know. "I'm just never that hungry," I said. They both looked at me a bit weird but let it go. They mostly talked about people who changed over the summer while I just sat there, hoping they wouldn't notice me starting to cry. I wasn't upset no one was talking to me. People kept giving me weird looks all day and I wanted nothing more than to sleep. I mumbled something about going to the restroon and got up and left. They didn't notice. As soon as I got there I broke down. I honestly don't know why exactly. It just happens. I locked the door to make sure no one would come in because otherwise that would be embarassing. I quickly searched for something sharp within the few pockets I had. Let's just say I was almost late to next period.
………………………………………………………………
The rest of the day wasn't bad, considering I only had 2 classes left. I could tell I would really like the photography class already. You didn't need a fancy camera to take it. All we did today was learn how to focus and get good lighting, so nothing I didn't know already. The only thing was that thr bitch I ran into earlier, Harper, was in my History class. Not excited about that. Not only was I alone in that class with no friends, but she was there, making it hell. But school was over now. Yay. I walked into the courtyard, not really knowing how to get home. I decided to just walk and hope I found my way. As I was leaving, I heard someone call me. Just not by my name. "Hey troll," called Harper. I looked at her and scoffed before turning away. "Where ya going? Back to under the bridge? I mean that is your home so." I rolled my eyes and tried to walk away before her minion person grabbed me. "Hey!" she yelled. "Never walk away from me! You understand?" With that being said, she punched me. Hard. I never knew anyone like her would have that much power.
My nose started gushing with blood before I screamed "What the fuck?!" in her face. I attempted to stop the bleeding by tiltinf my head back. I reached up to my cheek to feel a few scars fron her rings and a bruise forming.
"So you're not gonna even fight back, bitch? C'mon, give me something." Fury boiled in my veins as I pulled my arm back, ready to swing. Of course, I get this killer feeling in my arm as it gets pulled behind my back with my wrist bending far. Aerin, the "popular" sidekick, must have grabbed it. I wasn't surprised at her strength considering she's a swimmer. Tears formed in my eyes from the pain. I managed to wriggled my way out of Aerin's grip and run. Well not run just leave them alone. My nose was still pouring out blood so I grabbed some tissues from my bag and held them there, absorbing the red liquid. I felt my cheeks and there were a few scratches with dried blood, nothing big. Unfortunately, those whores hurt my right hand which was my dominate hand. My wrist felt sprained because I could barely even move it. I was about half way to what I was hoping was my house when it started to rain. At first just a light sprinkle, relaxing in fact. But it quickly turned into something more, with drops of water hitting me everywhere all the time. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" I screamed to no one. I continued my walk home, not caring that I was soaking.
………………………………………………………………
When I got home it was empty except for...my parents. "I-I didn't expect you to be home for another week," I stuttered. They looked mad for who knows why.
"Well we're here now and Jacob and I," she started while turning her head towards me. "We haven't had a good time in a while." I dropped my bag knowing this beating would be bad. I only closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. They took that as their que to start. The blows were hard, making my nosebleed return. The scars on my fave opened up again a bit. Sucking in each breathe as if it were my last, I felt multiple kicks to my limbs before an extremely hard hit to my head. J groaned before everyhing went black.
this chapter was really hard to write but in not sure why. hope you enjoy it<3
xemily
أنت تقرأ
Broken Records//l.h.
Fanfiction"Why'd you try to kill yourself?" "I didn't. I tried to kill the thing inside my mind." (i promise it gets better,just keep reading//under construction)
