A Devoted Heart (Attack on Titan // LeviHan) - Part 2

To Have a Name

To have a name after being "Levi - just Levi" for decades was a strange thing. That this name was Ackerman was even stranger. But the most fucked up of all things was getting a name - and not understanding what it meant.

Levi put his hands behind his head and leaned back to stare up at the fancy snow-white plastering. Kenny's death still disturbed him, which was disturbing in itself. He hadn't even liked the bastard that had turned out to be his uncle, no - he had hated him. But he now realized that Kenny had held a strange power over him all these years, just by abandoning him in the Underground one day without a warning, making Levi desperate to understand why he wasn't good enough.

Fucking ridiculous.

He had tried every day in his fucked-up childhood to make Kenny realize his mistake. He had tried to impress the likes of Annika for the same reason. Why? Because the heart of a child needed someone to praise it, to form it, to cherish it. One kind word. One encouragement. It would have made all the difference. And he had not gotten it because Kenny felt unfit to be a parent?

Tch.

What sentimental bullshit this early in the morning... or whatever time it was. In the end, people died miserably anyway, cherished or not. It was quite pointless.

"All people live for the same purpose, need something to keep them going: booze, women, God, family, the King, dreams, children, power; everyone, even Uri, was a slave to something. What is it that you want, Levi?"

To lie around in bed and forget this shit, that's what he wanted. Not having to constantly think about what being an Ackerman signified. A week ago, it had gotten so bad he had almost attempted to trick Mikasa into talking about her family again! But the Sullen One with the same surname had been too wrapped up in silent jealousy because Eren and Queen Historia had had a long and animated chat about, as Levi guessed, the burden of being important to humanity.

He'd return to the orphanage later this week, Levi decided, the wholesome image of pastures over which the air shimmered in the heat of the day making him smile a little, just to check whether things were still going smoothly. It was impossible for one little girl to run an estate this big even if she was a Queen - he needed to talk to her about hiring help. And protection. He had to talk to Erwin about that too, he was of the opinion that the MP should station a large enough detail out there in case... well, in case.

Recent events proved once again that almost all humans were scumbags and Queen Historia was very important even if she had put all the responsibility to govern into the military's hands.

She was also the last of the Reiss and Levi hoped...

CRASH.

Levi jumped. The redheaded woman beside him jerked awake and squealed as the door was slammed so hard against the wall it dislocated a bit of plaster up above.

"Here you are," Hanji said, narrowing her eyes at him. "Up, soldier, we have an important meeting."

Moblit's anxious face briefly appeared behind her but her lapdog ducked away with an apologetic shrug when he met Levi's eyes.

"Good morning to you too, Squad Leader Hange," Levi drawled.

"It's not morning, Levi," she retorted, putting her hands on her hips, her countenance darkening further as she glanced at the disarray of clothes on the floor. Then, she acknowledged Levi's gawking companion for the first time, her voice taking on a more amiable though clearly forced tone.

"I am very sorry to disturb what I'm sure must have been a very pleasurable time but Captain Levi here is needed in the assembly room ten minutes ago. He seems to have forgotten."