I Do, Don't I?

Caitlins Problem

Caitlin’s P.O.V

When Liz and I came downstairs I was doubtful that Taylor would even come back down from her bedroom that night so as Liz and I got to doing Taylor’s dinner dishes the guys ushered their way in and helped dry them and we all put them away since we had been here so often everything was easily placed correctly in the correct place. Soon after we began to chatter about different things, Al talked about his family and new drumming ventures while Liz talked about her recording deal that she had in L.A. We continued on for a while until I spotted Taylor leaning up against the archway of her kitchen just watching us when I went quiet and looked everyone turned and looked and smiled so Taylor smiled back and then sat down on Grant who was used to it then stood again. “So I have something to say and I don’t know how you will take it but I’m happy and have made peace with the decision.” I reached out across her island and took her hand in mine, a grateful smile spread across her face as I watched her take a deep breath. Sitting comfortably around in the kitchen Taylor began to speak, well at least I think she did I only made it so far into the story before I had heard too much. “…so later at the hospital I found out that I am pregnant, and I kept it.” The shocked faced echoed what I imagined mine to be. Grant left the room, Paul sat stunned and Mike’s mouth was opening and closing. I heard Al speak then he embraced Taylor and rubbed her back and that was when it hit me and I started to get mad. “You mean all those nights when you would cry in your bunk and I asked you if you were okay and you said ‘yes I’m fine Caitlin’ you were lying to me!” My outburst earned me a stare down from Al and Liz. “Caitlin, it’s not like that. Y-you, well I didn’t know how to tell you.” I scoffed and moved to her patio doors before I turned and said, “you always said we would tell each other everything but like your song ‘you said forever and always…didn’t mean it baby’ did you?” I turned on my heel and left for cool down time.

The gentle air of Watch Hill, Rhode Island calmed me down and I was instantly remorseful of what I said, but it was how I felt and I knew that I was better to say it than to not say how I felt. The creaking of the doors almost made me turn around until I smelt the familiar smell. Woodland Oak the only cologne that Al would use on tour. I smiled despite how I felt. “Caitlin…” I felt his hand reach out. Spinning to face him I said, “what Al? She never told me for three months we have been on tour. She is four months pregnant what am I meant to say. She was raped…” my hand covered my mouth. “Oh god, she was raped Al. Our bright shining star was raped and she never told us.” I felt Al pull me towards him and I found myself crumbling. “Shush Caitlin, she doesn’t want you to dwell on the past. Yes she is pregnant but she is fine. She had dealt with it and you need to try. She wants to talk to you.” I pulled away from Al and nodded stiffly. “Okay Caitlin, I’ll send her out.” I turned back to the beach view I had always admired here and a few minutes later the Woodland Oak was replaced by Wonderstruck. I turned to find Taylor with dry eyes and watching me instead. “I am sorry Taylor. I shouldn’t have spoken that way, I was angry.” I lifted my gaze to meet hers.
“I understand, I was angry to at first.” She spoke back. I moved closer then shifted away again.“Oh Caitlin, don’t be like that. I’m fine.” She stated as I moved closer.
“I just don’t want to hurt you.” She rubbed my back and hugged me close and it was then that I felt her bump but we hadn’t hugged like this in months, now I knew why. “Caitlin, you can’t hurt me. I’m okay.” She lifted my head to meet hers. “I mean it this time.” I nodded and we linked arms to walk back inside.