I Do, Don't I?

The Love of A Mother

Taylor’s P.O.V

Waking up in a hospital is my worst nightmare. I looked around the room and no one was there. My hands seemed to be tucked under the sheets and it was then that I noticed that I could see my feet. ‘Wait…what? I’m nearly nine months pregnant.’ Just as I was starting to freak out about that I noticed that both my engagement and wedding ring were missing. I glanced to the side and saw them on the side table. Reaching over I managed to reach them and put them back on, ‘that feels better’ I thought. Five minutes later I heard the swish of the door moving on the carpeted floors. Red hair poked around the corner as pale blue eyes met mine, breathing out I said, “Ed you’re here.” He crossed the room quickly as if sensing my apprehension, “Of course I’m here where else would I be?” he questioned as I sighed thinking of the thoughts. I pulled him down beside me and instantly felt better. Once he was settled I then cuddled in as well. This made everything feel better. I was almost asleep when the door opening sent me sitting straight up in bed, I felt Ed’s hands on my arm as he said, “Do you want to meet our daughter?” I smiled and said,
“Yes I’m ready to meet our daughter.” He met my lips in a kiss that felt like it was straight out of a movie. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the nurse coming closer with the pink bundle and I felt anxious. ‘What if she looked like Jake? What if we didn’t bond?’ Ed pulled me in to whisper. “Just relax you will be great.” I glance at him as if to ask him mentally how he knew what I was thinking but instead I felt a new weight in my arms. The nurse was standing there waiting obviously to see what I did. Taking a deep breath I almost lost as soon as I saw her. She was simply the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. From her perfectly shaped face to her button nose and blonde hairs I was in love. Then it happened. She opened her eyes, brilliant blue orbs met mine and I was hooked. Bringing her closer to me I let out a huge sigh and smiled as wide as I could manage. “Oh gosh Ed, she is beautiful.” He tucked himself behind me as he looked over my shoulder at her.
“Oh I agree honey, she is stunning and just what we wanted…well what I wanted.” I glanced at him then remembered he had wanted a mini me. I turned and kissed him. “Yes we did. I love you, do you want to hold her?” I questioned as his eyes grew wide, I could see the excitement. He carefully removed himself from behind me as he stood and extended his arms to our daughter who watched fascinated.

I watched as Ed walked carefully around the room before a nurse came in to talk to us. She explained what had happened as I cradled our daughter again. She then asked me straight out. “Breast or bottle for your daughter?” She said it so fast that I almost missed it.
“Pardon?” I stammered as I looked at her. She smiled and said,
“Sorry I forgot you’re a first time mom, congratulations by the way. I meant are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding?” I breathed a sigh of relief and said.
“Thank you, and I am breastfeeding this one.” She nodded and asked if I needed any help, I quickly shook my head wanting to try alone, she said she understood and went to get me a nursing pillow since Ed had my parents bringing in my bag and pillow later tonight. Ten minutes later Ed brought her over to me, I carefully cradled her between my legs as Ed helped me get rid of the awful gown I was wearing. He smiled at me and kissed me before helping adjust the pillow and settle our daughter onto it. I tried to remember what the baby books had said but all of a sudden instinct took over and I knew what she wanted and as she began to suckle and her jaw moved around and around in little circles with chipmunk cheeks I mentally cheered because she had latched on and I had done it myself. Ed who had been standing by the windows came back and sat next to me. I felt lips pressed to my forehead as Ed said, “I’ll never love you more than I do right now or less than I do right now.” I smiled and said, “Good because I love you too.” We sat there and watched her slowly fall asleep, as she finally went to sleep she popped herself off my nipple and didn’t even wake when Ed picked her up like she was delicate glass to settle her back into her crib.

I watched in fascination how he was already wrapped around her fingers, making sure she was asleep before coming back to me on the bed, he carefully helped me back into the gown which I hated and told him I did. He promised my parents would be here within the hour. Settling back amongst the pillows I was nearly asleep on Ed’s chest when the nurse came back in. Noticing we had the baby still in her crib she said, “Look it can be scary but the sooner you try the earlier you can leave.” Ed sat up and turned to the nurse.
“So we can leave once Taylor breastfeeds?” The nurse nods her head and goes to leave the room.
“Great, lets go honey.” I silently laugh at how fast the nurse stops.
“What, no you have to try first.” She splutters at me. I smile at her while getting out of the starchy hospital sheets. “Yes nurse I understand that, I breastfed her twenty minutes ago she latched on well and fell asleep so I’d like to leave now.” I felt so mean, but I was tired and I wanted to sleep. Home seemed perfect to me. “Of course Mrs Sheeran, I’ll get the papers now.” Well that was two hours ago.

Ed’s P.O.V

I was so proud of Taylor watching her tell the nurse what she had done, there was no mistaking the pride in her voice. The nurse left quickly and I managed to get Taylor to nap for an hour before her parents came in. The door opened silently as I placed our daughter down in her crib, she was awake but not crying so she was comfortable. “Hey guys…” I said as they came into the room.  I motioned that Taylor was asleep and they nodded. “Here’s the bag Ed.” Austin whispered as he came towards me. I smiled and thanked him, placing it next to Taylor’s bed. “Oooh lets get a peak of her Ed.” Andrea pleaded I smiled and motioned them closer to her bed. While I panicked thinking that she would scream she just looked as everyone cooed her. I gently picked her up and handed her to Andrea who began to walk around the room, she eventually passed her to Scott who just stared at her amazed. “She looks so much like Taylor as a baby, it’s like a replication.” I smiled and said that’s that I had initially thought. Austin wasn’t comfortable standing so he sat in the armchair in the corner and held his niece for the first time. It was then that Taylor began to wake-up, I turned to see Andrea and Scott by her side so I stayed with Austin who was beginning to panic at my daughter who was wriggling a bit, her foot had come out of her swaddle so Austin handed her to me and I took her to Taylor who said she would breastfeed again. Scott and Austin left to get food then as I helped Taylor with her gown again and got her pillow. Andrea was holding our baby, and handed her to Taylor who like before got a latch onto the breast straight away. Andrea looked at us and said, “So what’s her name?” I looked at Taylor who glanced at me and nodded. “We are calling her Ellie Grace Sheeran.” I watched Andrea’s face break out into a smile as I heard Taylor say to Ellie. “You like it don’t you pumpkin?” I smiled at the sight and twenty minutes later Ellie was back asleep and Taylor had persuaded me to help her into sweatpants, a nursing bra and an old tour t-shit from RED. “What happened to the Sheeran shirts?” I pouted as she turned and kissed me.
“I have to save them, they are special.” I smiled wide thinking about how that could mean two things, either she thought they were special and didn’t want to wear them all the time or she was planning to use them for the next pregnancy. Either way I didn’t mind.

Taylor’s P.O.V

We had been home for five hours and we had spent all five hours mostly in bed, Ed had driven us home from the hospital after we finally got the paperwork to leave, we had done the birth certificate and taken a copy for ourselves. Notified our friends and told them that only family was knowing her name at the moment but that we had a party planned for eight weeks’ time to reveal her name to those who came. It seemed like we had taken endless pictures of her already but I knew it would never be enough but for right now bed was honestly my favourite place in the world. It was almost 8.30am  when I finally woke, Ed was still beside me cuddling me into him, I couldn’t hear any crying but I had been up at 6.23am to change, feed and Ed burped her before she went back to sleep again. Crawling out of Ed’s grasp I ventured down to the nursery and pushed open the door. Ellie was still sound asleep so I left her. I did notice that Meredith was sleeping on the rocking chair, facing Ellie as if ready to notify Ed or I that Ellie was unhappy. I took a picture and told Meredith to stay out of the crib before wandering back to Ed who was waking up. I gently lay back beside him. The stitches didn’t bother me too much and the doctors had said they would disappear after three days and I was now on day two. So only another day or pain…