Salt In The Wounds ✓

SITW 01

Feeling author's note:

Hello! Please don't skip or skim read any chapter just 'cause you're itching to know what's how, what's when, what's why, what's what and mostly "who's who" 'cause this is a gayxlesbian short story. Sometimes it's better not to have a firm grasp of everything yet at first, second, third or even fourth shot. Hope you'd enjoy reading! T^T ♡

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The first time I saw you, I never actually thought I'd fall and change preference because you weren't typical. From your prepossessing countenance to your smartass stance, to your clearcut yet soft appearing features, and your acquiescent temper, miscellaneous sometimes unsolicited opinions and diverse beliefs. You were hardly instead an enigma, a striking comparison to the typical, solitude inclined, knowing zero, wallflower like myself.

You were liked by countless. When I say numerous, it doesn't exclude me. When I say like, you were the topic of their non-finishing stories during our table talk in every mid meal to at least rest for a couple of hours editing manuscripts of various genres. They gave the drafts of your sketches for the manuscripts' illustrations praises, though, for you, they all needed to undergo an all-nighter revamping.

And I knew for hardly a few months of being one of your, well, if not friends, acquaintances, that you needed a long-term indefinite time to mend from your six years relationship I had witnessed myself to end the night I tried to puff a cigar at the rooftop.

"Pagod ka na ba?" I overheard you say over the phone, for I was only within earshot away from where you were. "Ayaw mo na ba?"

You were turning your back from me, but with your quavering voice and the gestures your free hand was doing as it frequently landed on your face, I knew you were shedding tears. 

"Tangina naman. Six years. Six years tayo. And you'd selfishly dump me just because you're not sure yet of what you really are? Are the six years not enough yet for you to narrow down things re your fucking gender?"

"No! 'Cause the fact that you're not sure yet, leads you unbeknownst as well if you really loved me, or you were just too lonely and alone that you took me in. And you're fucking unfair."

"I had introduced you to my friends, to my family, even more to my father who never wanted the path I chose for myself, whereas I settled being unknown to your friends and your family though you could at least introduce me to them as your friend or colleague. I was even okay that whenever we see a friend or a relative of yours, I'd have to part ways with you for a while till they go out of sight. Tiniis ko 'yon."

"Yes, you never asked me to do all that, but I did all because I love you and I'm sure of you. I'm sure of us. Tapos ikaw pala hindi?"

"Sa anim na taon na 'yon, tangina nasaan pala 'ko sa buhay mo no'n?"

I wanted to come running to where you had carelessly slumped yourself but was afraid you'd shoo me away. So, I had rather opted to continue puffing my cigar on hand as if I was a first-timer. 

Yet on my second dare to puff, it was as if I was standing on the brink of lifelessness that I saw a fetcher in your being nearing my direction. 

"Are you okay?" I still heard you ask, although my loud coughings and beleaguered breathings jarred my auditories. 

I repeatedly shook my head with might, for you to know I was in dire need of a hand else I'd bid my finest goodbye without having to be a part of your every day or at least your night to at best comfort you. 

"Tu....tulong.....ma.....mama....tay....ak.....o...." 

"You son of a wicked witch! Sino ba'ng nagsabi sa 'yong manigarilyo ka?!"

Although you were chastising me with your words, you still helped me get my way back to life by laying me on the ground and pumping your hands on my chest.

Seconds turned to minutes; I was still having a hard time breathing. To the surprise of my visions in a blur, you cupped my face and leaned closer to me with the tips of our noses pressing. 

"I don't want to be liable for your death, considering we have CCTVs all over here that could point me as the prime suspect. So, if this is your first kiss, I'm so sorry I stole it for your need to live."

Your lips were a mixture of alcohol, cigar, and bitterness; nevertheless, the warmth it gave mine sent tremors down my spine. Your blow of air reached just not my lung. It lingered even on my mind and soul. It overpowered me, resurfacing, again and again, the breathlessness you had vanished, distorting my strength to muster up my saneness. 

"Are you okay now?" You lightly tapped my right cheek. I had insanely stared in space, and you had claimed for my mouth the second time. "Hey, stay with me," you pleaded as you parted your lips from mine. 

From then, I pulled myself seated on the ground while caressing my chest in panic as make-believe, for it would be too obvious that I simply wanted a second taste of your lips if I wouldn't act frantic. "O...okay....na 'ko....sa....salamat...." 

You sat in front of me, hugging your knees to your chest while staring blankly at me. I couldn't seem to fathom the emotions lurking in your dull,used-to-bee bedazzling eyes. 

"Ikaw....ok....ka lang.....ba....?"I wasn't supposed to meddle with your life,  I know, but I simply wanted not the night to end without hitting a conversation with you. 

You scoffed, then you turned to look away. The tears you blinked didn't triumph to hide from my gazes that I had always pinned on you. 

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop—"

"May yosi ka pa ba?"

And with a single stick of cigar, no matter how much of wreaking havoc you could be for a brokenhearted person, I still dared to pull a string for whatever's worth.