pluviophile • a.nakajima

5 | here with me

tw: angst(?), depression

the rain pelted [y/n]'s face, colliding with her skin with soft taps, the water dripping down her body in a cold waterfall. if she weren't so out of it she would've joked that the rain gods were bitchslapping her. but a void resided in her soul, preventing any sort of positive light from shining through. and now she was resorting to drowning out her emotions in the onslaught of rainfall, except the familiar sensation of the rain that used to always relax her didn't quite feel the same. the emptiness inside her only continued to grow, and it slightly discouraged her, almost giving up on trying to lead a normal, healthy life.

she was lucky enough to not resort to drugs at this point, but now she wasn't sure if her method would last long.

although [y/n] did truly love the rain for its serene and tranquil descent, she found the depression that had been haunting her for months now tainting her enjoyment in the activity. and somehow it was slowly draining the life out of her bit by bit, like she was slowly suffocating and becoming more and more dead inside the more time that passes.

[y/n] also realized how she had been feeding lies to herself all this time; that life was worth living, that everything would be okay. when really it was not. they were just lies. empty words of comfort that people gave as "reassurance." it really did nothing in the end.

and now her despair was slowly beginning to drown her more than the water pouring down on her. the dark clouds above became more and more like taunting spectators that pitied her demise. and she thought to herself: why? why must life be so beautiful yet so cruel?

the grey atmosphere only seemed to deepen into a darker hue in [y/n]'s eyes, all worth of existing in the world gradually fading to nothing. extending a hand out through the darkness, she desperately tried to reach for the same sort of comfort that she used to receive from the rain, but instead they came empty. she felt empty. devoid of warmth: because the memory that ignited her love for rain had died along with them. and now it was down to its last spark that would eventually disintegrate into ashes.

at this point, tears were streaming down her face, mixing with the rainwater descending upon her. she didn't even care if anyone saw her crying anymore, because now it didn't matter. and it was not like anyone would notice in this type of weather.

now the dam had broken inside her as well as her heart as she painfully accepted the truth, becoming devoid of anything hopeful after each shatter. so she stood there, nearly wishing to end it. to end it all. to end all her suffering. but she knew suicide wouldn't do anything.

[y/n] wasn't sure how long she had been standing in the rain. maybe it had been only a few minutes. maybe it had been over an hour. but to her it felt like an eternity of internal torment, before her legs grew sore from standing and took a seat on a soaked bench nearby. in an attempt to recollect herself, she closed her eyes while taking deep breaths, forcing down her tears and choking down everything she wanted to scream out to the world.

that was when she heard his voice. like that of an angel in the form of a human being such as herself. someone who could possibly understand the indescribable emotion inside of her. because the compassion in his voice brought a glimmer of hope in her empty soul.

"um, excuse me miss? do you...i mean, why are you sitting in the middle of the rain like this?"

a simple question asked out of pure concern, yet to [y/n] it felt like a blessing. she finally opened her darkened eyes to be met with a young male that looked to be around her age with light gray hair with his bangs cut oddly with one lock left long on the right side of his face. but out of all his features, from his slightly pale skin to black overalls, his warm, segmental heterochromia eyes of purple and yellow stuck out the most. they were kind and enchanting, drawing her in. she could've sworn the world turned a tad brighter when her eyes met his beautiful orbs.

[y/n] couldn't help but smile bittersweetly in the presence of this stranger before answering his question. "well, i like to be in the rain, i like the feeling of the water on my skin, the sound...everything just feels so soothing."

used to. it used to sooth her. her euphoria for the activity had already passed away not too long ago. but somehow the clumsy smile that crept onto his face gave a sort of comfort as he seemed to have no intention of leaving just yet despite his awkwardness. it was like he involuntarily sensed her internal cries for help. and he continued to be with her. stay with her. it...slightly touched [y/n] that someone was willing to simply be there for her despite having just met her.

"i guess it's nice for people who don't mind getting wet...though sometimes it is peaceful when i look at it from inside," he said, gaze drifting off into the rain surrounding them with a nostalgic expression on his soft features. his clear umbrella was neatly perched on his shoulder with one gloved hand holding onto its handle for extra precautions.

[y/n] stared at him with momentary confusion as he continued to stand beside her, looking off into the distance, before simply accepting the comfortable silence he provided with his presence. she didn't realize how much better she felt just by being there with this stranger that gave unintentional encouragement and assurance without words. it felt like...she had another chance at living life again to its fullest. that even though she couldn't enjoy life at the moment, there would be other chances when she could bring herself back up again.

she silently thanked him for making her world a little brighter, uttering a whisper to herself that wouldn't reach the ears of the kind male.

"thank you for being here with me." 

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author's note:  first time writing angst...sorry if it's cringy and possibly over exaggerated -v-''