pluviophile • a.nakajima

7 | a connection

"atsushi is fine!" the silver-haired male blurted out a bit louder than he intended to, earning the attention of other tables, heads turning in their direction. it was quite the awkward situation for anyone, as well as some people's absolute nightmares. atsushi was completely mortified and wished so hard to shrink out of existence, an embarrassed blush on his cheeks as he apologized frantically.

[y/n] blinked before awkwardly coughing into her fist, attempting to play it cool. "um...sure, if that's fine with you...atsushi."

as soon as his name left her lips, atsushi's embarrassment began to dissipate as well as his frantic movements, the wild blush on his face beginning to fade as well. a bashful smile formed on his lips as he wiped off his previous distressed expression. who knew her voice alone could calm him so much? his heart already trusted her before his mind did.

"and if you want, you can call me [y/n]: it's only fair," she added with a casual wave of her hand. atsushi only nodded with a hum as [y/n] momentarily excused herself to order their refreshments.

meanwhile, atsushi was left to his own thoughts again, his gaze drifting from the brown vintage interior, to the stray light bulbs hanging down from the ceiling before his wandering stare landed on [y/n]'s form again. he couldn't help it. atsushi had the case of young love, the first stage of effect being a crush, its current symptoms being the familiar fluttering feeling of butterflies and the undying priority and care of [y/n]'s wellbeing.

upon [y/n] returning to their table, atsushi immediately snapped out of his love-struck daze and faced her properly as she took her seat in front of him. they then began another conversation, this time about their interests, taking turns asking each other questions back and forth. and each time they would attentively listen to the other's answer and ingrain it into their memory for future reference. their time together really helped atsushi and [y/n] get to know each other better, as well as understand each other through their opinions and was overall genuinely enjoyable for the both of them. it was relaxing spending time with someone they were whole-heartedly interested in, and their connection further deepened.

the conversation was all light-hearted until it came to a certain question.

"so what's it like working in the famous armed detective agency?" [y/n] asked as she stirred her milk tea with a her straw, the ice cubes knocking against the glass like dice being shaken in a cup.

no, not that question.

atsushi laughed nervously while sweat dropping as he recalled many interesting moments with the agency. "it's...a unique job full of interesting people, i guess...sometimes things get a little out of hand, but my seniors are pretty impressive when they start getting serious: it's because of them that we're able to save the city at the end of the day."

"must be pretty exciting," [y/n] chuckled. "also, what made you join the agency in the first place?"

atsushi's past.

although he had expected the question to come up some day, he couldn't help but tense slightly as he felt like he was back in the orphanage all over again. the grim, stained glass that shined down on him in a menacing purple and blue, the dark figures of them in the shadows who despised his very existence. the pain. the isolation. all he could recall was his darkened eyes and his younger self's screams of agony, echoing in his mind and drowning out any other sound.

"atsushi?"

he didn't realize that he had been in a trance before [y/n]'s gentle voice broke him out of his daze, snapping out of his short-lived nightmare with a shake of his head. "s-sorry! what were you saying again?"

[y/n]'s face held concern as she looked into atsushi's eyes. "are you alright, atsushi? i asked why you joined the agency, but then you suddenly went out of it..." she trailed off as her hands single-mindedly folded over his, clasping them over his hands warmly to provide some sort of comfort. and although atsushi's face was on fire and heart racing, he appreciated the gesture nonetheless, accepting her sweet sympathy.

"sorry if i touched a sensitive topic, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it," [y/n] apologized while quickly retracting her hands with a blush as she realized her previous actions. it sort of reminded her of the first time that they met in the rain when atsushi gave her that clear umbrella. hands touching. blushing faces.

"no, it's fine...it's something i still need to move on from," atsushi answered as he averted his gaze outside, a distant look on his face.

[y/n] sympathized with him, also having the same difficulty of moving on after a certain incident. "i can relate, sometimes you just want to forget the past...so if you need anyone to talk to, i'll be here to lend you an ear! we're friends, right?" her tone went from quiet to an attempted optimistic one to try and lighten the mood.

friends. it was that word again. as much as atsushi didn't want to admit it, he silently wished it was a little different. but he quickly shook it off by responding with a smile. he reasoned with himself that his feelings could wait until later, at the right time, the right moment, the right place. after all, they still had so much to do and learn together. and besides, even he hadn't come to terms with his confusing emotions completely. 

so all he could do was simply push it aside. for now. 

"right!"

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author's note: hi, i need your guys' opinion for this: i was wondering if this book is progressing at a good pace...looking back at it, i feel like i need to change it somehow...what do you think?