Let's Give Albus B***dy Dumbledore a Heart Attack (or) The Fake Heir

2

Meanwhile in the afterlife-

"What! You, Snivellous, and Voldemort! LILY! STOP LAUGHING! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

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"Are you the Dark Lord's son?" Snape demanded in a strangled hiss.

"Who?" Hadrian frowned.

"Vol-" Snape flinched and grasped his arm. "Tom Marvolo Riddle."

"I have no idea," said Hadrian dryly. It was true: he didn't know whether Voldemort had a son or not. "I grew up with Muggles." He wrinkled his nose. "We didn't like each other very much. Why do you ask?"

Snape didn't answer. "Don't tell the rest of the House you grew up with Muggles."

Hadrian grinned. "I'll just let them think I'm the Dark Lord's heir. That will either get them off my back or ask me if I'm going to follow in his footsteps."

"I cannot tell whether you are actually considering that or not," Snape said slowly.

"Maybe I'll just pretend I am," Hadrian shrugged. "That will certainly freak people out."

"Do you enjoy messing with people, Riddle?" Snape asked tiredly. Hadrian grinned wickedly in answer. "I need a headache potion," Snape grumbled, leaving the common room.

Zabini hesitantly approached him. "What did Professor Snape want to talk to you about? Heir Riddle?"

"Heir Prince. Oh, he just asked who my parents were," Hadrian shrugged, making Zabini look both interested and panicky. "He was curious, you see; he's heard the name 'Riddle' before."

"Are you the Dark Lord's son, then?" Malfoy blurted from halfway across the common room.

"Malfoy, did the Hat want to sort you into Gryffindor?" Hadrian asked coldly. The room blanched.

"N-no!" Malfoy exclaimed. "I'm a Malfoy! I'm a true Slytherin!"

"Then don't blurt out questions like a lion, especially ones with obvious answers," Hadrian sneered.

"He is the Dark Lord's son!" Parkinson breathed.

"I'm going to bed," Hadrian announced. "If you have any questions, ask me tomorrow. I am very tired."

He started walking to the stairs, and Zabini followed. Hadrian raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm tired as well, Heir Prince," Zabini said innocently.

"Right." Hadrian found the first year room and was surprised to find that it was multiple rooms. He was sharing with Draco Malfoy. "Oh how wonderful."

"If you don't like rooming with the blond ponce, you can petition Professor Snape for a different roommate," Zabini offered. "Or... you could just stay in your father's old room."

Hadrian eyed him. "Explain."

Zabini smiled wider and led him down the hall.

It was a door the same color of the Killing Curse. The words Slytherin Heir were written on it in elegant silver cursive.

"I don't have to room with Heir Malfoy?" Hadrian asked in glee. He touched the doorknob, felt a brief flash of pain, and was able to open it.

"Huh," Zabini mused. "Well, that backfired." He didn't look in the least guilty, just curious.

"What... backfired?" Hadrian asked icily.

"You can lose the Dark Lord's heir mask," Zabini answered quietly. "I know you're not."