As We Are

Chapter 32

Gavin did give himself the rest of the week to go over everything he wanted to say to Michael, but part of him just could not believe he was really going to do this. He spent so much time avoiding these feelings and although he never actually succeeded with that, it felt strange.

On Tuesday, he didn't think about it too much from not wanting to make it feel more complicated than it was, so he gave himself a break that day and was merely content with having an upcoming test on the mind. The only time he actually let it take over his thoughts was when Meg walked up to him and asked him all about it, but after explaining the whole thing, he was back to when to study and how much.

Wednesday was when he started talking about the plan a little with Kdin and Meg. Those two threw in their pieces of advice, saying that Gavin should mention this and that to not confuse Michael or give him the wrong idea, and Gavin nodded, taking note of it all, but he wasn't sure if he was going to listen to them. He had a general idea of what he was going to say and he sort of wanted to stick with it, especially after going over it further. He did thank them, though, and felt a little less nervous by the end of the day – which was something else he couldn't believe, that he was seriously really nervous. Had there been another time where he was this nervous? Perhaps that night he realized that he liked Michael, but other than that, no.

In the morning on Thursday at the house, Michael had accidentally bumped shoulders with Gavin as they both attempted to walk out of the kitchen at the same time. This only led to mumbled apologies and small smiles, but Gavin's smile widened once Michael wasn't looking at him anymore. So, he definitely had Michael running through his thoughts that day. He pretty much knew by now everything he was going to say and he was almost tempted to just tell Michael when they were back home, but once they were home, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Therefore, on Friday, he honestly practiced in the mirror when he knew everyone was downstairs and no one could hear him if they walked passed the bathroom. He cleared his throat and then rolled his eyes. This was stupid and he knew that, yet that wasn't enough to make him walk away.

“Hi, Michael,” he started, “I just wanted to tell you that I like you.” He said those last three words with such perkiness that even he had to ask himself “What the hell”. He tried again, and again... and then a few more times until he just ended up groaning and shaking his head.

Feeling too frustrated about this whole thing, Gavin ran his fingers through his hair and walked out of there. No one was in sight, which was good, but he had no desire to go downstairs and watch TV with Geoff, Griffon, and Lindsay, or to go outside where Ray and Michael were hanging out (when did they become friends again anyway?), so Gavin went into his bedroom and stayed in there until dinner.

When Saturday morning came around and Gavin woke up to one of the best sleeps he's had in a while, he sat up slowly and took a deep breath. It was so unfair how many things were easier said than done, and confessing this to Michael was definitely easier in mind, and that was due to the fact that in his mind, Gavin could make anything Michael's response. Really, he had no clue how Michael was going to react and that was what was making all of this more complicated than it needed to be.

Unlike weekdays, though, Gavin had the entire day to see Michael and prepare himself. Well, he had the entire weekend for it, but he wanted to do it and get it over with on Saturday. He got out of bed and headed for a shower to wake himself up a little more. It was only past eight in the morning, but when he went downstairs, he halted in his tracks to find Michael sitting in the kitchen, munching on cereal and reading something on his phone. No one else was in sight. Oh, this was such a good opportunity to talk to him, but Gavin had imagined it would be after dinner or something, not after his morning shower. This was too early and he wasn't prepared.