365 days

Day 3

anonymous
has anyone ever told you
how you light up a room
as soon as you walk in?
delivered at 2:45 am.

i don't know whether it's
your blinding gorgeous bunny
smile or the way you carry yourself
but there is something about you
that drives me insane.
delivered at 2:46 am.

i vowed to never fall for you.
falling for the popular, hottest
guy in the school while you're a
solid 3/10 isn't easy.
delivered at 2:46 am.

i'm sorry if this comes out creepy,
but i always wondered what a hug
from you would feel like. maybe it'll
feel like a warm mother's embrace,
make me feel safe and comfortable.
delivered at 2:48 am.

maybe it'll be warm and affectionate.
maybe i would give you a tiny forehead
kiss.
delivered at 2:48 am.

do you like forehead kisses?
honestly, i love them. they feel
like a touch of warm sunlight in
a freezing storm. a feeling of upmost
trust swells inside of you and blooms,
spreading through your veins like wildfire
because you know the person who kissed
your forehead deeply cares about you.
delivered at 2:53 am.

i want to make you feel that way.
i know you've been through a lot.
i want you to know that someone
cares about you like that. but i'm too
much of a fucking chicken to let you
know.
delivered at 2:58 am.

seen at 8am.

jeongguk's entire face flushed as he read the messages. he knew deep down it was creepy how a stranger was just messaging him like that at 3am, but god it felt so good to read these messages. to feel like someone cared about him this way.

the only person who cared about him like that was yoongi, his older brother.

but this was truly on a whole different level. he took a deep breath to calm his erratic heartbeat. he never imagined in his life that someone would care about him this much.

jeongguk lacked self esteem. BIG time. he was too scared to talk to people his own age because he always believes they're secretly judging him.

and even before, when a girl confessed to him, it was always a dumb dare.

'i dare you to go confess to jeon jeongguk, the mysterious boy'

the only reason jeongguk is popular in the first place is because he's on the martial arts team and he's also team captain. he's seen as 'mysterious' because sir jeon jeongguk is too much of a fucking chicken to talk to people.

he had no one besides his brother and his 'boyfriends' hoseok and jimin, who he didn't even speak to regularly. just exchanging simple 'heys' when they're over. and sometimes jimin brings his best friend, kim taehyung, because he wants to convince yoongi that taehyung is a good guy and not into jimin.

he had no one.

so why was this person so in love with him?

jeongguk always thought these kinds of words only belonged in fiction. not in real life. there's no way you would care about someone this much, right?

he shook his head at his own thoughts and as he was going to go offline, the anonymous person texts him again.

anonymous
oh. my. god.
i am SO sorry for spamming you!
delivered at 11am.

i promise you, i'm not some creep!
delivered at 11:01 am.

it's just, i kinda had a mental
breakdown and weirdly you were
the first person i texted.
delivered at 11:03 am.

please don't tell me you're creeped out...
i'm so sorry jeongguk. really. i'm just
someone who really cares about you
but i'm too scared to say it.
delivered at 11:05 am.

i'm sorry. i just wish you would
believe that someone cares about
you this much. i want to make you
happy. i want to care for you and
show you that it's possible for
someone to care about you this much.
delivered at 11:06 am.

i swear, i will keep on sending you
messages every single day. until
you realize it.
delivered at 11:07 am.

seen at 11:09 am.

anonymous went offline.

jeongguk teared up at his texts and took a deep breath. how can a stranger was this much effect on him?

he sniffled and quickly wiped his tears, staring at his own reflection in the mirror.

'people are liars, you know that. this is one random stranger who texts you sweet nothings and you believe him? you believe his bullshit??'

'he's just playing you. like all these people played you. don't get swayed and swoon over his pathetic lies. no one cares about you! nobody wants you! get that through your thick skull!'

jeongguk teared at the voice in his head and shakily grabbed the razor. it was right. nobody wanted him. nobody cared for him. it was all lies.

he got the blade onto his thigh and began slitting his skin, line after line, letting the numb feeling sink in.

'that's my good bunny. never believe that anyone loves you. you're mine, and you will forever be mine!'

anonymous
i know you've seen my messages
and you probably don't want to
talk to me.
delivered at 12:05 pm.

that's okay! i could be kinda
annoying at times hehe.
delivered at 12:06 pm.

just... take care of yourself
okay? i've been noticing you're
getting a lot skinnier lately.
delivered at 12:06 pm.

not that i'm calling you ugly!
hell no, you're beautiful either way!
but i'm getting worried.
delivered at 12:07 pm.

take care of yourself okay?
if you want to talk, i'm here🤍
delivered at 12:07 pm.

———
thoughts?
love,
~ angelsofdawn